Earlier this week movers came to the home of our dear friends and packed everything they had to prepare for a move to another country.
- It’s a great career opportunity for him.
- It means more daily freedom for her.
But it’s still stressful.
- Anticipation, doubt and fear swirl together about the unknowns.
- And at the same time they process the emotions of an ending before the new beginning…
As 2015 comes to an end, you may be considering a new beginning, a fresh start, a change or a reinvention…
I published an article a month ago, about how our international move altered the path I thought I was on to my big dream. In that post I shared how much I trust in this altered path, even though it doesn’t make complete sense yet.
About the time I published that article I heard this quote,
Two weeks ago my husband and I took a vacation to Africa. On the plane I read Nelson Mandela’s book The Long Walk to Freedom, deeply considering how a wide variety of good and bad experiences changed his perspective, caused him to seek truth, ponder deeply, and shaped the man he would become. At several places in his story I thought of different struggles that others have faced that have taken them to their knees and challenged their perspectives and then changed their futures. In the midst of those reflections I wrote these words…
Would you say yes, if you knew:
- That great risk would lead to a greater reward?
- That a job loss would lead to a new career in a new industry?
- That a heartbreaking betrayal would make you softer and stronger and wiser?
- That learning to forgive would help you experience uncommon peace?
- That years of unwanted change and confusion would lead to growth?
- That an uncommon sacrifice would create the change you’ve dreamed of?
- That an ending would create a better beginning?
Once upon a time, I hired a fun-loving woman with great recommendations, strong experience, and impressive tenure. (True Story!)
Not long after she joined our team she began to struggle. Things that she thought would be easy to learn were harder than normal, which chewed away at her confidence, which made it even harder to learn, which ate away even more confidence. Sometimes when we spoke privately, tears flowed.
At one point she shared that in her last role she was so confident that she would put on a pink feather boa. And when she wore it – everyone knew a special announcement was going to be made. Here she wanted to be her authentic self, but was afraid…
Each time we spoke, I would remind her:
- She was grieving. (She had just left a role that she knew backwards and forwards and upside down in a place where she felt understood, appreciated and loved and moved and started a new job.)
- She really was smart, capable, fun and wanted!
- She was focusing more on her mistakes and emotions than on what she knew she could bring and that was causing her to struggle harder.
A little over a week ago my husband and I rode motorcycle to a city that is about an hour away from where we are living.
It’s a city we visited for the first time nearly one year ago. A city that provided such a powerful visual of how leadership or the lack of it, impacts our world that I wrote about it right after our first visit, and have continued to talk about it throughout the year…
Read More About That Visit Here
- A lack of a vision compared to a shared vision.
- Chaos compared to order.
- Anxiety compared to peace.
- Darkness compared to light.
This time we were in awe again:
When my husband and I were first married we moved three states away from where we had grown up.
And quickly learned that the carbonated beverages we had been consuming for our entire lives were not called POP.
- In this place they were called SODA!
- A few years later we moved south and learned that no matter what flavor of carbonated beverage we wanted to consume we needed to order a COKE – and then name our flavor of choice.
As we’ve continued to move I’ve kept a mental list of others…
- When you throw something away do you CHUCK it or CHUNK it?
- When you hold onto something have you KEPT it or KEP it?
- Do you have a kitchen COUNTER or a kitchen BENCH?
- Does your car have a HOOD or a BONNET? A TRUNK or a BOOT?
- Do you cook with CORIANDER or with CILANTRO?
- When you are talking about a friend that is not your spouse… Are they your FRIEND or your MATE?
- When you go to the store… Do you use a shopping CART or a shopping BUGGY or a TROLLEY?
As fun as the game is – does it really matter what you call it?