A friend recently had an appointment with a doctor. The doctor started to prescribe medicine to treat the symptoms of a gut issue.
So the patient advocated for herself. She reminded the doctor that she has additional medical issues that are bigger than the gut issue. She has osteoporosis and needs a stronger skeletal system and this medicine will make her bones weaker.
The doctor heard her concern and thoughtfully responded, “Well, I guess you need to look at the whole picture.”
Speech was controlled in the place we lived for four years, in many ways. Below are a few examples:
Once upon a time I worked for a charismatic leader with a serious set of skills. Someone I learned from constantly and deeply admired …
The crazy part was – I wasn’t hunting for lies. I literally kept tripping into them – all five in a very short amount of time after years of working together.
When I confronted for the last time. He said, “I don’t know how you keep finding these things out.” No denial. No excuses. No apology.
A short time later – I “fired him” by turning in my notice.
Titled leaders and employees can all be tempted to overlook honesty because of skill.
Since our return home from Saudi Arabia, (A place I once feared and had zero desire to move to.) I have been facilitating a series of workshops for students – sharing what day-to-day life was like while emphasizing critical life, leadership and people skills that they will need throughout their lives.
In each workshop students are given a visual of a natural process that will happen the rest of their lives – as they decide if they have the courage to leave their comfort zones or the grit to survive when life hands them circumstances they can’t control.
Some of the questions I’ve been asked about Saudi are worth sharing:
Have you ever had a small child run to you in fear? (Of the boogeyman under the bed, the barking dog, or the crack of thunder?)
How do you respond?
Do you ignore them? Do you dismiss them? Do you call them boogey-phobic, dog-phobic, or noise-phobic? Do you make fun of them? Or do you shine a light under the bed and explain why they are safe? Take them to meet the neighbor’s dog and see that he is friendly? Or explain how thunder works?
Have you been a titled leader in a business and heard employees expressing concerns about fairness or potential layoffs?
How have you responded?
Do you get defensive and angry that they dare to question you? Do you blow off their concerns? Do you talk down to them? Or do you hear them and respond with understanding, compassion and honesty?
Have you watched divisive current events and taken a side? And then heard from a family member, friend, coworker or neighbor that has taken the other side?
How have you been responding?
Are you ignoring them? Unfriending them? Labeling them? Shouting at them? Making fun of them? Or are you seeking first to understand what is driving them?
Great parents, leaders and friends – listen to questions and fears without anger or labels, or a dismissive attitude. They seek to understand, and then shine a light under the bed and address real and imagined concerns. They are honest about real challenges and about their commitment to their people.
