18 Reasons to have the Challenging Conversation

And an opportunity to have one! (And enjoy it!)

Have the challenging conversation

For more than a decade I’ve been thinking about challenging conversations.

  • About the people that avoid them at all costs.
  • And about the people that drive over others with their opinions while refusing to listen to another point of view.

How do you usually respond?  (I’ve done both.)

Culture or Harassment: Are You Defending Your POV or Listening?

When was the last time you listened first?

I was facilitating a workshop for students. The goal was to help everyone identify the bubbles they live in, and to encourage them to strategically pop those bubbles.

I asked questions that encouraged laughter:

  • What is the craziest food you have ever eaten? Answers varied from peas to snake… (Yes for some of us, eating vegetables is crazy!)

Then questions that would help them think about their courage:

10 Reasons Strategic Fairness is Worth Your Effort

Fairness is hard work

We’ve all been there…

When our boss hires a friend:

  • Then the friend leverages that relationship to charm their way out of responsibility and accountability.

When laws are created for the good of all:

  • But certain groups are consistently exempt from the law.

When an executive relocates:

Inconsistency is unfair and confusing.  It creates stress, erodes trust, increases frustration, wears people out, decreases ownership and limits potential.

On the flip side of that, fairness:

9 Ways that the Fear of Conflict Kills and Destroys

Fearing Conflict

Some people and organizations hate conflict.

They fear:

  1. Discomfort
  2. Disagreements
  3. Judgmental words
  4. Explosive behavior
  5. Relationships struggling or ending

Then they allow that fear to drive their results!

  • Some feel victimized by the past and hold so tightly to those emotions that they experience less joy and less productivity.
  • Others have rumbling fires of anger burning about present issues. Occasionally smoke seeps out as they vent to those closest to them. As those fires continue to grow everyone is at risk of their eventual eruption.
  • Some are unwilling to learn an alternative way of dealing with conflict.
  • Others don’t realize there is an alternative.
  • And none realize that their choice to wait for the other party to change, is spreading growth-eating bacteria throughout their organization.

How to Stand Against: The Schemer who Manipulates the Truth

Would you stand alone for truth, for teams for individuals?

Protect yourself from a schemer

On Monday morning women from 9 different nations connected in an online Conversation Safari to explore the question… Are you being manipulated?

During that discussion, we talked about different kinds of manipulation.

  1. Unintentional manipulation – like a guilt trip to get someone to do what you want him or her to do.
  2. Intentional manipulation – when someone intentionally distorts facts for personal gain.
  3. Intentional AND strategic manipulation – when someone strategically distorts facts, and creates disruption to accomplish a specific goal.

Most people on the call believe that intentional AND strategic manipulation happens more often than we realize.

A few days later I stumbled into a real life example of their point.