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	<title>Simply Understanding by Giana ConsultingI wanted to say yes, but I don&#8217;t trust you&#8230; &#8211; Simply Understanding by Giana Consulting</title>
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		<title>I wanted to say yes, but I don&#8217;t trust you&#8230;</title>
		<link>https://consultgiana.com/i-wanted-to-say-yes-but-i-dont-trust-you/</link>
		<comments>https://consultgiana.com/i-wanted-to-say-yes-but-i-dont-trust-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Oct 2014 10:00:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chery Gegelman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Accountability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Character-based Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gut]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulators]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Truth]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://consultgiana.com/?p=3693</guid>

				<description><![CDATA[Once upon a time, I worked with someone that had some great skills even though they made a lot of choices that I didn’t like, respect or trust.  (This person was smart, witty, and could be really fun, but repeatedly lied and manipulated and bullied others to get what they wanted.) Years after we worked together, that person sent [&#8230;]]]></description>
					<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Once upon a time, I worked with someone that had some great skills even though they made a lot of choices that I didn’t like, respect or trust. </strong> (This person was<strong> </strong>smart, witty, and could be really fun, but repeatedly <a title="Truth, Lies and The Future of Your Organizaiton" href="http://consultgiana.com/truth-lies-and-the-future-of-your-organization/">lied</a> and <a title="11 Tips for Dealing with Manipulators" href="http://consultgiana.com/11-tips-for-dealing-with-manipulators/">manipulated</a> and <a title="Dear Bully" href="http://consultgiana.com/dear-bully/">bullied</a> others to get what they wanted.)</span></p><img width="760" height="506" src="https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-760x506.jpg" class="featured-image wp-post-image" alt="" srcset="https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-760x506.jpg 760w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-300x200.jpg 300w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-518x345.jpg 518w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-250x166.jpg 250w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-82x54.jpg 82w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/iStock_000001466135Large-600x400.jpg 600w" sizes="(max-width: 760px) 100vw, 760px" />
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Years after we worked together, that person sent me an invitation to connect on LinkedIn.</strong></span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">If some time had not passed, I would have declined it instantly and been filled with tons of negative emotions as I did it.</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span id="more-3693"></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>But grace had changed my heart and in spite of all of the behaviors that I disagreed with I had learned to:</strong></span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Pray for them.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Recognize their humanity.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Ache for them, knowing some personal challenges they were dealing with.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Appreciate their strengths.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">And even enjoy their personality.</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>And yet, in spite of the changes in my heart, I still had no reason to trust them.  </strong></span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">My gut kicked when I tried to imagine this person being truthful about much of anything.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I knew my network had significant value to them and my gut said that was the real reason for the invitation.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">And when I tried to imagine them valuing the people or the relationships in that network, my gut responded again emphasizing that they were just a means to an end.</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>So after much thought and prayer I decided that although there are things I would be willing to do for them, this was not one of them.  </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>And I declined the invitation.</strong></span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="color: #993300; font-size: 12pt;"><strong>Some recent events jogged that memory out of my mental database and this quote from Stephen M.R. Covey keeps running through my mind…</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><em><strong>“There is one thing</strong> that is common to every individual, relationship, team, family, organization, nation, economy and civilization throughout the world &#8211; one thing which, if removed will destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love.  </em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong><em> </em></strong><em><strong>On the other hand, if developed and leveraged that one thing</strong> has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life.  Yet it is the least understood, most neglected and most underestimated possibility of our time.  </em></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><em> </em><strong><em>That one thing is trust.”  </em></strong></span></p>
<hr />
<p><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/iStock_000009823319Small.jpg"><img class="aligncenter wp-image-3435 size-thumbnail" src="http://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/iStock_000009823319Small-150x150.jpg" alt="What are your thoughts?" width="150" height="150" srcset="https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/iStock_000009823319Small-150x150.jpg 150w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/iStock_000009823319Small-35x35.jpg 35w, https://consultgiana.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/iStock_000009823319Small-120x120.jpg 120w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" /></a><strong>Please share:</strong></span></p>
<ul>
<li>[Tweet &#8220;Have you ever created a boundary in a relationship because of a trust issue?&#8221;]</li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Have you ever juggled the desire to offer grace and kept a boundary in place at the same time?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12pt;">How do you cultivate trust with others?</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-size: 8pt;">Image Credits:  iStock</span></p>
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