We recently purchased a new home and immediately started adding to the garage.

The day the bricklayers came to add brick to the addition, something didn’t seem quite right…

I looked at it, thought it must be my eyes and walked away.

Then I turned around and came back out, looked at it again and it still didn’t seem quite right.

So I took a picture and then I was sure!

I forwarded the picture below to a few friends and didn’t tell them what to look for and just asked them what they saw.

Most of them saw it too…

Do you see it?

The new brick on the left side of this picture clearly does not match the brick on the house!

It could be redone, so not the end of the world right?

Except everything that needed to happen next was hinging on the brick being done. If the brick was not completed now– there would be a massive domino effect and we’d miss our targeted completion date. And then more domino’s would fall.  As I imagined the impact of each one falling, my adrenaline soared.

Trying to understand what happened, I imagined multiple scenarios:   

1. Did the contractor order the wrong brick?
   • They said no. They were certain they ordered correctly.
2. Did the brick company supply the wrong brick?
   • They said no. They were certain they supplied correctly.

…Except everyone agreed that it didn’t look right.

3. Even if the brick on the house had faded, it was still darker than the new brick. So that didn’t explain anything.

But wait a minute the brick in stacks, that were not on the house yet – did match the house.

4. So maybe the factory mislabeled one stack of the brick – and that just happened to be the stack that went on the back of the addition?

And then we washed the brick.  And guess what? It was indeed the right brick.

And now my brick wall will forever be a reminder that there will be times when:

1.  The truth is camouflaged.  

• I’ve met more than one executive that could not see the truth about the behavior of those closest to them – even when others tried repeatedly to tell them.
• In the book Picking Cotton, Jennifer Thompson Cannino and Ronald Cotton tell the story of her rape, and his false conviction. Because of what the truth “appeared” to be.  Ronald’s build and facial features were similar to those of the actual rapist.  So it was easier for everyone to believe it was him, than to spend more time thoroughly investigating all possibilities.

2.   We need to breathe first, take our time and examine the issue from every angle. 

• Companies have collapsed when titled leaders have been unwilling to dig into issues that took time, and made them uncomfortable.
• Individuals have been falsely accused and imprisoned because broken systems and those in power would not allow a DNA test to be performed.
• Entire groups of people have been treated as if they are less than human because of widely spread urban legends that are believed instead of being investigated.
• Innocent people in our society and in politics are often victimized because it is easier to believe the thing we fear.  And so much harder to dig deeper.

When something interrupts what we expect, we need to ask ourselves what matters more: The truth, our comfort or our ego? And then be willing to consider the possibility that we might be wrong and do a bit more research.

“ When truth is camouflaged:  Innocent people are victimized and others are duped.

“ When the truth is camouflaged:  Smaller issues become big ones.

3.  We should own our mistakes, apologize if necessary, learn from it and move on.

• Sometimes humble pie serves as reminder not to assume the worst about a situation or the outcome. Encouraging us to remember to dig deeper and to control our own thinking and behavior while we are digging.

Please share: Have you ever been 100% sure that you were right – and then discovered that you were wrong?  What did you learn?

I walked around the corner and into the office. The moment I saw her, I knew I was going to employ her. A high performing employee had referred her.   She was professionally attired, already chatting with others on the team, and I knew that she had an impressive resume.

In spite of everything that looked so positive, I kept the interview consistent with all others. And not surprisingly, she soared through the first few questions.

And then I asked my favorite one. “What are your weaknesses?”

Her response, “I don’t have any.”

Wait, what? She didn’t really say that did she?

I rephrased the question.

She responded, “I used to be bad at public speaking, but I worked at that. I don’t have any other weaknesses.”

I redirected again. Looking for a signal that she knew that she was an imperfect human. That she was coachable. That she could play well on a team.

Negative. She said again that she had no weaknesses.

“ Would you have hired her?

You guessed it. I didn’t hire her.

…And for years, I’ve leveraged that experience to coach job seekers.

But you don’t have to be a job seeker to learn from that story.

Think for a minute about the issues in our world that you are focused on.

How many of the people involved have impressive resumes and look professional?

But in spite of their qualifications they:

• Can’t see or admit that they have weaknesses?
• Are unwilling hear or consider another perspective?

Imperfect humans that think they can do no wrong – fuel division and prevent problem solving.

Their egos don’t foster collaboration or solutions.

“ Our world needs leaders that know that they aren’t perfect.

We need people that listen deeply, knowing that others have witnessed, researched or considered something they haven’t.  Those are the ones that will be willing to work together to solve big issues.

What questions are you asking when you seek out, listen to, employ, promote, elect, and reelect people?

Every human on the planet will be tempted by pride.

Behind that little word is a fire that has the power to destroy potential, character, callings, and lives.

Below are three critical things to remember, when pride woos you:

1. Your calling can become your idol if you let it

You were born with unique gifts and a big dream to serve others.

On your way to your big dream you may receive lots of positive feedback about what you are capable of, and your passion for your cause.

There is both sweetness and a danger in that praise:

• The sweetness comes with the affirmation that you were born for this.
• The danger comes when the positive press distracts you.

Distraction comes like a sudden craving. It is swift and subtle– and has the power to shift the focus of even the most humble and sincere.

In a flash, the hunger for more praise can become the driving reason you act. And as you feed that craving it consumes you. Making you less and less qualified and able to serve.

Ultimately replacing the people and the cause you care about with yourself.

“ When pride comes, then comes disgrace. —PROVERBS

2. Heed the wisdom of truth speakers

As you work to make your dream a reality you will meet people who believe in you, your potential and your vision.

Some of those people will also be able to see gaps in your skills, your choices or your character. (I know that’s uncomfortable. But you’re human and gaps are a part of the gig, so grit up and keep reading.)

If someone has the courage to speak to you about those gaps – consider:

• Have they taken the time to share this with you, because they believe you are worth investing in?
• What are you risking if you don’t carefully consider what they are sharing?
• What will you gain if you accept their coaching?

“ The one that hears correction, possesses wisdom. —PROVERBS

3. Protect yourself with a “strategic sandwich”

Imagine that you play professional football for a living.

• If you won game, after game, after game and everyone was praising your uncommon ability.  Would you be tempted, even a little bit, to believe the press you are getting?
• If you played a critical game terribly and received tons of negative press   Would you struggle, to recover?

When Tim Tebow was playing for the NFL, he protected his character from the dangers of pride with a “strategic sandwich” that would help him stay focused on the mission and on others when he was most vulnerable to the temptation of pride.

Tim started a foundation for critically ill children and would spend time before and after each game with children that had life threatening illnesses and their families.    

• Before he walked on the field to play a game he was reminded how precious life was, what a blessing it is to have the love and support of a family, and how much he had to be thankful for.
• When each game ended, no matter how he played, no matter how the team played, he was reminded again of all that he had been given.
• His time with those children and their families, helped him stay humble by keeping his focus on others instead of on himself.
• And each time he stepped onto the field, he would kneel to give thanks to the one that gave it all to him.

If you live your life as if everything is about you… You will be left with just that.  Just you.  -Toby Mac

How do you protect yourself from the woo of pride?

We’ve all been there…

When our boss hires a friend:

• Then the friend leverages that relationship to charm their way out of responsibility and accountability.

When laws are created for the good of all:

• But certain groups are consistently exempt from the law.

When an executive relocates:

• And thinks company policy does not apply to him.

Inconsistency is unfair and confusing.  It creates stress, erodes trust, increases frustration, wears people out, decreases ownership and limits potential.

On the flip side of that, fairness:

1. Helps people feel heard, seen and considered
2. Tears down walls of self-protection
3. Encourages conversations
4. Increases understanding
5. Builds trust
6. Fuels collaboration
7. Unleashes energy and engagement
8. Creates positive change
9. Builds momentum
10. Maximizes results

A leader I’ve admired for many years received this feedback when he decided to run for a public office, “I have known him a long time and have done business with him on several occasions. I have to say he always treated me fair. I did not always get my way, but he always, treated me fair. …That’s just the way he is and how he does business, fair & square.”

“ That kind of fairness: Positively impacts people, problem solving and growth.

Yet so many leaders fail to cultivate fairness in their organizations.

Patrick Lencioni points out one very important reason why titled leaders often avoid simple but effective solutions:

..Simple solutions usually require discipline and hard work over time, while the sophisticated ones seem like shiny silver bullets, capable of making a problem go away in one innovative shot.

“ Fairness is hard work.

It requires focus, effort, consistency, and humility.

But the impact is worth the effort.

Have you ever made a strategic effort to be consistent, fair and explainable?

If not – why not make it your goal for the New Year?  (2018 will be very different from 2017 if you do!)

Got a Leadership Question – Contact Chery

I recently visited a high school that has invested years teaching their students to be activists.

While that effort alone is impressive.  The uncommon skill they are teaching, and modeling for the students is even more so.

Through instruction and experience, their students are learning that a healthy culture is a balanced culture.  And that in a balanced culture it is possible to think critically and to be compassionate.

They are learning how to shine a bright light on truth with data and personal experiences.  …While getting involved with, and loving people that have made choices they disagree with.

They are engaging people and growing their cause because of their unique approach.  And the impact they are having on the students, families and the community is beyond impressive.

What those students and their families may not realize:

• Is that it is uncommon it is to learn to balance challenging concepts.
• This skill will benefit every part of their lives in the years to come.  (As individuals. with their families, in the businesses and non profits they will serve and within the communities and nation they will live in.)

Now imagine the cultures you are a part of: 

“ Is a balanced culture part of your strategy to improve engagement and growth?

Are Truth and Love strategically poured into the foundation and the future?

Is Vision balanced with Ownership?

• Do you have a vision?
• Does everyone know why it is important? And how they impact the vision?
• Is it clearly and frequently communicated both internally and externally?
• Is that vision used to guide decisions or to decorate walls?
• Are all teams measured on goals that support that vision – or are they forced to fight each other and work against the vision to accomplish their objectives?
• How often do they experience uncommon synergy and results?
• Are all people empowered and unleashed to bring their best to your organization?
• Does everyone listen to and respond to your customers, members or citizens?

Is EVERYONE unleashed to make the greatest difference possible?

When that happens, people at every level take ownership of the opportunities they see and:

• Individuals have more freedom, energy, commitment and growth
• Teams experience greater collaboration, synergy, engagement and results
• Customers are valued, honored, and continually amazed

Is Accountability balanced with Compassion?

Are all wafts of smoke followed to the source and fires are extinguished before they spread?

Do Smoke-Chasers:

• Seek the whole truth about opportunities in the organization?
• Weigh everything against the company vision, mission and values?
• Confront internal barriers that are preventing titled leaders from listening and responding to employees or from communicating & problem solving with peers?
• Balance consistency with fairness in their conversations and decision making?
• Treat people with respect – regardless of their title, personality style or behavior?
• Address inappropriate behavior – “Boss babies” grow up or leave, Manipulators change or go?
• Help their organizations overcome challenges and grow:  Often reducing risk, increasing efficiency and maximizing results without added expense?

Those who build strong balanced cultures are rewarded with uncommon:  

• Engagement: Their people are committed, and energized.
• Growth: Because they’re leveraging the wisdom and passion of many.

On Monday morning women from 9 different nations connected in an online Conversation Safari to explore the question… Are you being manipulated?

During that discussion, we talked about different kinds of manipulation.

1. Unintentional manipulation – like a guilt trip to get someone to do what you want him or her to do.
2. Intentional manipulation – when someone intentionally distorts facts for personal gain.
3. Intentional AND strategic manipulation – when someone strategically distorts facts, and creates disruption to accomplish a specific goal.

Most people on the call believe that intentional AND strategic manipulation happens more often than we realize.

A few days later I stumbled into a real life example of their point.

I was attending a public meeting and just before the meeting closed…

A woman took a seat in front of an elected official that has been manipulating facts and people.

As she spoke into the microphone, her statement shined a bright light on important details:

• First she quoted policy and reminded everyone in the room how disagreements and concerns were supposed to be handled.
• Then she listed specific dates and read exact quotes when this man had publically posted statements that were out of line with that policy.
• After reading each one of his quotes, she shared actual data from meeting minutes, and from emails that countered his false statements.

Her data made a huge impact:

• Filling in missing information that altered his stories completely.
• Supporting co-workers that he’d attacked.
• Effectively defending her own work.

She made each point with confidence, often looking up and making eye contact with the man that is used to intimidating others into silence.

As she spoke, his red face deepened in color.

His only verbal responses were to request a copy of what she read, and to ask if the meeting was over.

He made no attempt to explain or defend.  And provided no indication of shame, remorse or correction.

As women come together to stand against Weinstein’s abuse of power.  This one woman, was alone at the microphone.

Courageously standing against the behavior of  a titled leader that has been scheming to destroy truth, teamwork and individuals for his own gain.  

I don’t know what the future holds for that man, the people that work with him or the people that he was elected to serve.

But I do know this:  

“ Each of us has a responsibility to be truth detectives.

“ Check ALL the facts, and think critically.

“ Grit up and STAND for TRUTH!

-Regardless of the group you typically align yourself with.  

• (Loyalty to political party, religion, social network, co-workers, friends and even family –  should be second to TRUTH.)

Please share: Have you ever stood alone against a schemer?

If there is a schemer in your workplace, below are 9 tips to help you stand against and rise above their behavior.

“ Have you ever overlooked someone’s honesty because of their skills?

Once upon a time I worked for a charismatic leader with a serious set of skills. Someone I learned from constantly and deeply admired …

• Until I caught him in a lie.
• And then a second one.
• A third one.
• A fourth one.
• And finally a fifth one.

“ Follow the smoke… Before it becomes a fire! #CharacterMatters

The crazy part was – I wasn’t hunting for lies. I literally kept tripping into them – all five in a very short amount of time after years of working together.

When I confronted for the last time. He said, “I don’t know how you keep finding these things out.” No denial. No excuses. No apology.

A short time later – I “fired him” by turning in my notice.

Titled leaders and employees can all be tempted to overlook honesty because of skill.

As a titled leader:

Have you ever hired someone – after it became clear that they lied in their interview?

• A seemingly tiny lie – like where they lived
• A bigger lie – like how long they’d held a job
• A bold lie – like having more education or experience than they do

How did that decision impact:

• Your business?
• Your customers?
• Your employees?
• You?

Would you do it again?

One really bad hire: Has created distrust, destroyed teams, chased customers away, killed profits – and eventually brought down the hiring managers that overlooked those lies.

Have you ever discovered that someone lied to you on their resume or application after you hired them?

• Do they still work for you?

Have you ever found out that someone falsified a report at work?

• What did you do?
• What message did you send to your other employees about the importance of integrity?

I’ve heard hiring managers justify skills over character, sales managers defend profit over truth and HR managers declare that they don’t legislate morality.

On the flip side of that, is the stand that Financial Guru Dave Ramsey has taken with his employees. If any of them cheat on their spouse they are terminated. He believes if someone will cheat on the person that is supposed to be the most important person in their lives – they will cheat on anything.  And that lack of character will ultimately impact other employees, the workplace and his customers.

As a prospective employee:

Have you ever overlooked the character of the company because you had too much invested already?

• Have you ever discovered that the company that you just accepted a position with – is lying to you?
• What did you do?

This post describes a situation one of my expat neighbors faced two days prior to moving to Saudi Arabia.

As an employee:

Have you ever learned alarming things about the character of the company you just started working for?

• What did you do?

Have you ever allowed your character to be manipulated by a bully?

• Has your hiring manager ever demanded that you do something – and won’t put that demand in writing?
• Did you stand up to them – in spite of their anger?

People have lost everything from vacations to their jobs because they didn’t stand.  Choosing to stand may also result in no job, but it doesn’t violate your conscience or tarnish your character.

Looking for a speaker or a facilitator for your next event?  

Chery helps people and organizations accomplish their mission by facilitating truth-seeking, listening, dialogue, collaboration and growth:

1. People work through divisive issues
2. Students and professionals develop critical life and leadership skills
3. Followers of Jesus find Biblical responses to the news and division in our world

Chery, Today was a hit! You were a delight and commanded the attention of all. We’ll be a better company. The feedback has been fantastic! Thank you for sharing your time with us.

–Teresa Knox, Founder and Former CEO – Community Care College, Clary Sage College, OK Technical College

Check out what others are saying

I was leading a small team in a culturally diverse city in the U.S. when two of my employees asked why all the titled leaders on our leadership team were white.

I was raised in a part of the country that was not culturally diverse, today – nearly a decade after their question 89% of the population in my home state is white and 95% of the county that surrounded the town I grew up in was white.  As a result, it was a question I didn’t see coming and one I did not have a good answer for.

[Tweet “If you seek to lead well… You will consider uncomfortable questions.”]

My reactions:

Honored that they trusted me enough to ask.

Pondered the team I was responsible for:

• A few whites
• A few blacks
• A few Hispanics
• Asian
• Mixed
• Both male, female
• With a span of ages on the team that represented 5 different generations.

Reflected on how new team members were hired:

• I had never considered skin color or nationality. Ever.
• No quota’s to fill.
• No strategy to match the culture of my team with my customers.

I consistently looked for people with the skillset for the job, and people that would work well with the team. (And if the skillset was a match but they were obviously not a fit for the team, they were not hired.) And oddly enough the team was a pretty accurate reflection of the percentages of nationalities in our city.

So when I looked at the leadership team and considered their question, I wondered:

1. About the quality and variety of the applicants that were being received for those positions. (No doubt there were plenty of qualified people of other nationalities in our city.)
2. Was it how those positions were advertised?
3. What it where the business was located?
4. Was there an intentional prejudice present that I’d never noticed?
5. Was it the preference of any previous candidates not to be the first person from another nationality on the leadership team?
6. Were there other contributing factors I was missing?

Please don’t misunderstand. I am NOT advocating quotas. As they encourage organizations to hire warm bodies instead of the best talent or the best fit for the team. They also foster laziness and a lack of accountability by those that fit into the required group.

But I do believe that if we are willing to consider uncomfortable questions, there is often an opportunity for leaders to grow and improve.

A few weeks ago, I returned from South Africa and where learned more about the Apartheid System that smothered, separated and limited their people and the potential of their country for more than 50 years.

This is one tiny example from Nelson Mandela’s book that gives a glimpse of how much confusion, pressure, and division Apartheid caused, “Africans were desperate for legal help in government buildings:  It was a crime to walk through a Whites Only door, a crime to ride a Whites Only bus, a crime to use a Whites Only drinking fountain, a crime to walk on a Whites Only beach, a crime to be on the streets past eleven, a crime not to have a passbook, and a crime to have the wrong signature in that book, a crime to be unemployed and a crime to be employed in the wrong place, a crime to live in certain places and a crime to have no place to live.”

 When you dive into history like that, it is natural to look for evidence of change.

As we walked streets in Cape Town and Johannesburg it was clear that the oppression that had killed hopes, dreams, collaboration and synergy for years is gone. People now have the freedom of movement, without passbooks, without limits on where they can live, visit, sit, eat, or who they can be friends with or date.

It has only been 20 years since massive change came to South Africa and change takes time. At the same time teams and cultures will only continue to evolve if everyone is willing to keep asking and answering uncomfortable questions.

Throughout our stay in Cape Town, Johannesburg, on our Safari –we saw more white people in leadership positions, and more black people in entry-level service positions.

And the nagging question in my head and my heart was the one I’d been asked so many years ago… Why were so many of the leadership teams we saw… White? Why were all but one of the guides on our safari white, and all of the trackers black?

…And yes I asked the question, more than once.

My job is to turn over rocks and look at the squiggly things, even if what you see can scare the h_ll out of you.

-Former Pitney Bowes Executive, Fred Purdue

[Tweet “If you seek to lead well… You will ask uncomfortable questions.”]

PLEASE SHARE:

• Have you ever asked an uncomfortable question?
• Have you ever considered an uncomfortable question?
• Has an uncomfortable question ever changed your behavior?

As a titled leader have you ever been in a situation where:

• Your objectives were INCREASING
• The volume of customers were INCREASING
• The demands on your team were INCREASING
• …And the effectiveness and efficiency of your tools were decreasing?

Was it possible to do MORE with less?

How did you navigate the changes?

Were you and your team at risk of burning out?

Did you struggle with victim thoughts?

Did you communicate your need for better tools or more help?

Did you give up?  …Or did you get creative?

How did it turn out?

What advice would you offer others?

If you are facing that situation now – I’ve been there. Here’s what we did…

If an energy sapping challenge is weighing on you YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  This struggle is real all over our world.

For two years, I had the honor of working with 15 Dedicated Authors from different parts of our globe, to create a book that would offer real help and hope to anyone in the midst of those struggles.  A few months ago, Energize Your Leadership was released.

Each author is an experienced corporate professional, working mother and/or a small business owner that has dealt with things like this:

• The increased use of technology that has you “plugged in” to work more often.
• Economic changes that increasingly require you to produce more with less.
• Stress caused by environment, health, and/or personal choices.
• The struggle to be physically and mentally present and engaged at home while still producing at work.

And each one has survived those energy-depleting seasons and emerged softer, stronger, wiser and more energized. If you are in the midst of an energy-depleting season, don’t let your struggle overwhelm you.

Pick up your copy today and prepare to Energize Your Leadership.

Get your copy of on Amazon Kindle or Paperback sent to you from Amazon today!