11 Tips for Dealing with Manipulators

Last week’s post:  Together You Stand, Divided You Fall is the first part of this “mini series.”  If you missed it, click here.

Manipulation  iStock_000012938004Small

When I was a teenager I watched daytime soap operas. In each of them there was always a manipulative character that consistently pressed invisible buttons, somehow always getting what they wanted.

I remember wondering if anyone could actually be that conniving.

This weekend a news article and a completely different video was shared on social media causing me to think manipulative people in real life.

Both were shared to stir hate and both effectively stirred up some of their intended audience.

  • The article made me angry.
  • The video shocked me.

…You’ve heard it before, maybe a million times.  Does it mean anything to you?

This slideshare was one of the first articles I wrote when I started blogging and it carries a very important message for our world.

  • It also sets the stage for an important post about how to deal with manipulators that will be out next week.

What are your thoughts?I’m curious, have you pondered the importance of those words before?  PLEASE Share!  

“Together You Stand, Divided You Fall.”

Is it a strategy or manipulation?

Several years ago I worked for an organization that invited several key customers to a meeting that would last several days.

Strategy or Manipulation?

The company invested a great deal of time and resources in the event, flying in the customers, planning the event, and entertaining them.

When the invitation was sent, the company said they wanted to better understand their customers’ needs and brainstorm ways to better meet them.

After the customers arrived, many were frustrated to discover that the company wasn’t really seeking to understand their needs at a higher level.  Instead the company was just asking for a rubber stamp on an action plan that had already been created.

A few short months later I began working with someone that consistently emphasized that great leadership is strategy.

At first, I saw this person share a big vision, arm people with the tools and the support they needed and then get out of their way.

However, as time passed I began to realize that this person often worked relationships to avoid dealing with their own weaknesses and to drive a personal agenda.

And I started to wonder…

Energized: By Human Connection

My husband and I are preparing for an extended vacation and made a quick trip to the store to pick up a few things for the trip and a few basics for the remainder of the week we are here.

Energized by Human Connection

We were barely in the store when the call to prayer sounded.  (Which means that for the next 30 minutes we are free to wander around the store, but we can’t receive any assistance from the staff or checkout.)

After gathering all that we needed we joined a group of families in a semi-circle around a produce weighing station, which was already surrounded and now three layers deep.

As a western woman, I still struggle to understand the rules of engagement in these settings.  (Whatever you do -don’t look the men in the eye and don’t smile at them.  And although the women may make brief eye contact and are gracious, they don’t always speak the same language.)

So as I looked for a place to focus, a little girl with enormous brown eyes and tiny pigtails spotted my husband and I.  (She reminded me of Boo from Disney’s Monster’s Inc. movie.)

Below are several REAL examples of opportunities that curious leaders won’t miss: 

1. Managers that work in different departments have daily opportunities to serve each other at a high level.

  • However the executives they report to frequently talk smack about each other and go out of their way to avoid working together.
  • So the managers follow the example that has been set for them – spending more time in turf battles than aiding each other.
  • Their teams become ropes in a tug-of-war.

(more…)