On Monday morning women from 9 different nations connected in an online Conversation Safari to explore the question… Are you being manipulated?
During that discussion, we talked about different kinds of manipulation.
- Unintentional manipulation – like a guilt trip to get someone to do what you want him or her to do.
- Intentional manipulation – when someone intentionally distorts facts for personal gain.
- Intentional AND strategic manipulation – when someone strategically distorts facts, and creates disruption to accomplish a specific goal.
Most people on the call believe that intentional AND strategic manipulation happens more often than we realize.
A few days later I stumbled into a real life example of their point.
Imagine being a new Office Manager for a small company. The first day on the job your new boss, a.k.a the owner, meets you at the office. He stays there for the morning and then leaves.
The other employees work afternoons and weekends. So you’re in a new role, in a new industry. You’re alone at the office, answering phones, and trying to create a weekend work schedule for people you have never met, with less than 4 hours of “training.”
Logic says that you should not be surprised when that first busy weekend goes south. But your new boss loses it!
He’s in his mid forties, tall, long legged and thin. Now his string bean legs are stomping around the office, while he is hollering, blaming and yes – he even throws a pen across the room in frustration. (Not at you – thankfully!) But wow! Just wow!
If his behavior weren’t so immature and shocking – you would have doubled over in laughter at how crazy he looked!
In the heat of the moment you could decide that you have no desire to work for this Boss Baby. And you could walk out the door, put in your notice, begin updating your resume…
Or you could make some uncommon choices:
In business, families, faith-based organizations and communities I’ve continuously witnessed the power of these words:
Together WE STAND. Divided WE FALL.
Prior to moving to Saudi Arabia, my focus on divisive current events was growing. …As was my determination to find ways to bring people together to find solutions.
So I began sharing this dream with others:
Viktor Frankl survived a concentration camp and said this…
Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.
Post Charlottesville conflict continues to fill the airwaves and cyberspace, encouraging chaos and division.
…So how have you been responding? Are you:
- Denying that this conflict is impacting real lives, workplaces and communities?
- Pushing your perspective on others?
- Sitting in silence and worrying about it?
- Studying the issues, and then carrying your candle into the darkness, determined to be a part of the solution?
IF YOU SEEK TO BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION:
The process below will help you fully leverage your freedom, while strategically using both your mind and your heart.
I recently went into a store to pick up an order for someone else. When I arrived, I asked for the supervisor of that department by name. She was gone for the day, so a teenager tried to assist me and I proceeded to ask for the order by name and then by description.
The teen was was unaware of the order and asked her two coworkers for help. (Both of them were in their late 50’s.)
Her coworkers just shrugged, said they didn’t know anything and walked away.
So the teenager looked everywhere she could think of, and then asked one of her coworkers for help again.
The elder woman snapped at her and walked away again.