Some people and organizations hate conflict.
- Judgmental words
- Explosive behavior
- Relationships struggling or ending
Then they allow that fear to drive their results!
- Some feel victimized by the past and hold so tightly to those emotions that they experience less joy and less productivity.
- Others have rumbling fires of anger burning about present issues. Occasionally smoke seeps out as they vent to those closest to them. As those fires continue to grow everyone is at risk of their eventual eruption.
- Some are unwilling to learn an alternative way of dealing with conflict.
- Others don’t realize there is an alternative.
- And none realize that their choice to wait for the other party to change, is spreading growth-eating bacteria throughout their organization.
On Monday morning women from 9 different nations connected in an online Conversation Safari to explore the question… Are you being manipulated?
During that discussion, we talked about different kinds of manipulation.
- Unintentional manipulation – like a guilt trip to get someone to do what you want him or her to do.
- Intentional manipulation – when someone intentionally distorts facts for personal gain.
- Intentional AND strategic manipulation – when someone strategically distorts facts, and creates disruption to accomplish a specific goal.
Most people on the call believe that intentional AND strategic manipulation happens more often than we realize.
A few days later I stumbled into a real life example of their point.
You can be manipulated by:
- A boss, co-worker or an employee
- A family member or a friend
- An elected official or a dictator
- A religious authority
- The media or Hollywood
In our next Conversation Safari we will be discussing manipulation.
Imagine being a new Office Manager for a small company. The first day on the job your new boss, a.k.a the owner, meets you at the office. He stays there for the morning and then leaves.
The other employees work afternoons and weekends. So you’re in a new role, in a new industry. You’re alone at the office, answering phones, and trying to create a weekend work schedule for people you have never met, with less than 4 hours of “training.”
Logic says that you should not be surprised when that first busy weekend goes south. But your new boss loses it!
He’s in his mid forties, tall, long legged and thin. Now his string bean legs are stomping around the office, while he is hollering, blaming and yes – he even throws a pen across the room in frustration. (Not at you – thankfully!) But wow! Just wow!
If his behavior weren’t so immature and shocking – you would have doubled over in laughter at how crazy he looked!
In the heat of the moment you could decide that you have no desire to work for this Boss Baby. And you could walk out the door, put in your notice, begin updating your resume…
Or you could make some uncommon choices:
Our world needs people who can lead positive change!
It requires unshakable vision, grit and character. Recently I’ve been watching a story develop in the U.S. that is worth studying – Even if you don’t live there.
For those that aren’t aware of this story, this is a quick look at the facts:
Colin Kapernick is a professional football player that recently decided to exercise some of the freedom our country grants everyone.
He decided to stay seated during our national anthem, as the rest of the stadium stood and honored our flag and our country.
Colin says he is protesting because, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”
His decision created a lot of heated debate with some people criticizing his patriotism, some people defending his right to protest and others applauding his reason for protesting.
It did not take long to discover that Colin chose to wear socks with pictures of pigs in police uniforms during practice, which caused more debate.
A short time later he met with a Nate Boyer, a former Green Beret Soldier and professional football player with his own passion for freeing the oppressed. Their conversation resulted in Colin’s decision to kneel; instead of sitting the next time the National Anthem was played.
Colin has also indicated that he will donate $1 Million to help those affected by police injustices.
Lessons for Change Leaders: