In business, families, faith-based organizations and communities I’ve continuously witnessed the power of these words:
Together WE STAND. Divided WE FALL.
Prior to moving to Saudi Arabia, my focus on divisive current events was growing. …As was my determination to find ways to bring people together to find solutions.
Since our return home from Saudi Arabia, (A place I once feared and had zero desire to move to.) I have been facilitating a series of workshops for students – sharing what day-to-day life was like while emphasizing critical life, leadership and people skills that they will need throughout their lives.
In each workshop students are given a visual of a natural process that will happen the rest of their lives – as they decide if they have the courage to leave their comfort zones or the grit to survive when life hands them circumstances they can’t control.
Some of the questions I’ve been asked about Saudi are worth sharing:
Have you ever had a small child run to you in fear? (Of the boogeyman under the bed, the barking dog, or the crack of thunder?)
How do you respond?
Do you ignore them? Do you dismiss them? Do you call them boogey-phobic, dog-phobic, or noise-phobic? Do you make fun of them? Or do you shine a light under the bed and explain why they are safe? Take them to meet the neighbor’s dog and see that he is friendly? Or explain how thunder works?
Have you been a titled leader in a business and heard employees expressing concerns about fairness or potential layoffs?
How have you responded?
Do you get defensive and angry that they dare to question you? Do you blow off their concerns? Do you talk down to them? Or do you hear them and respond with understanding, compassion and honesty?
Have you watched divisive current events and taken a side? And then heard from a family member, friend, coworker or neighbor that has taken the other side?
How have you been responding?
Are you ignoring them? Unfriending them? Labeling them? Shouting at them? Making fun of them? Or are you seeking first to understand what is driving them?
Great parents, leaders and friends – listen to questions and fears without anger or labels, or a dismissive attitude. They seek to understand, and then shine a light under the bed and address real and imagined concerns. They are honest about real challenges and about their commitment to their people.
On November 15th, twenty-eight women from a variety of races, nations and religions gathered together for a Conversation Safari. The plan was to dive into divisive current events and the fears that drive our emotions, our behaviors and our results.
Our topic had been planned for months based on several private conversations:
In each of those private conversations we shared fears, we felt each other’s pain, and considered new perspectives.
(The date of our event had been chosen because of some scheduling conflicts, not because of a master strategy. But when November 9th rolled around and the election results from the U.S. hit the airwaves – fear in across the world and in the expat sandbox grew. Our topic could not have been more perfectly timed.)
It has been said that if you’re not learning, you’re not growing, and if you’re not growing you’re dying.
I’ve written about Lana Simko before. At age 62 she and her husband were happily retired living in their hometown near their two children and four grandchildren.
And then her husband started receiving phone calls asking him to consider employment on the other side of the world in a culture that is nothing like their own.
She was so certain that would never happen that she would laugh and walk away each time he took a call. And then one day she realized that he was seriously considering this seemingly crazy move.
