Bridge Builders listen to the perspectives of others, instead of fearing their knowledge, experiences and convictions.
With vision, respect and wisdom they connect:
I recently went into a store to pick up an order for someone else. When I arrived, I asked for the supervisor of that department by name. She was gone for the day, so a teenager tried to assist me and I proceeded to ask for the order by name and then by description.
The teen was was unaware of the order and asked her two coworkers for help. (Both of them were in their late 50’s.)
Her coworkers just shrugged, said they didn’t know anything and walked away.
So the teenager looked everywhere she could think of, and then asked one of her coworkers for help again.
The elder woman snapped at her and walked away again.
I recently spoke to a group of people and shared information that challenged their thinking and their behavior. Afterwards several people approached with questions and comments.
One woman had received the message and wanted help in taking the next step.
Another woman expressed her gratitude for the message. She admitted that she had always struggled in one particular area – but until today, she hadn’t realized it. Now she was actively processing the new information and beginning to visualize what a change in her behavior would look like.
Then a man stepped forward that was actively rejecting the message.
Speech was controlled in the place we lived for four years, in many ways. Below are a few examples:
Have you ever had a small child run to you in fear? (Of the boogeyman under the bed, the barking dog, or the crack of thunder?)
How do you respond?
Do you ignore them? Do you dismiss them? Do you call them boogey-phobic, dog-phobic, or noise-phobic? Do you make fun of them? Or do you shine a light under the bed and explain why they are safe? Take them to meet the neighbor’s dog and see that he is friendly? Or explain how thunder works?
Have you been a titled leader in a business and heard employees expressing concerns about fairness or potential layoffs?
How have you responded?
Do you get defensive and angry that they dare to question you? Do you blow off their concerns? Do you talk down to them? Or do you hear them and respond with understanding, compassion and honesty?
Have you watched divisive current events and taken a side? And then heard from a family member, friend, coworker or neighbor that has taken the other side?
How have you been responding?
Are you ignoring them? Unfriending them? Labeling them? Shouting at them? Making fun of them? Or are you seeking first to understand what is driving them?
Great parents, leaders and friends – listen to questions and fears without anger or labels, or a dismissive attitude. They seek to understand, and then shine a light under the bed and address real and imagined concerns. They are honest about real challenges and about their commitment to their people.
