For more than a decade I’ve been thinking about challenging conversations.
How do you usually respond? (I’ve done both.)
When was the last time you were in a conversation, and heard someone use the word “ALL” to describe the beliefs or behavior of an entire group of humans?
How many articles have filled your screens in the last week that emphasized all the reasons you should mistrust, disregard, or fear an entire group of people?
I’m deeply troubled about the volume of educated, intelligent, caring people that are having these conversations and sharing these articles and this is why…
I recently visited a high school that has invested years teaching their students to be activists.
While that effort alone is impressive. The uncommon skill they are teaching, and modeling for the students is even more so.
Through instruction and experience, their students are learning that a healthy culture is a balanced culture. And that in a balanced culture it is possible to think critically and to be compassionate.
They are learning how to shine a bright light on truth with data and personal experiences. …While getting involved with, and loving people that have made choices they disagree with.
They are engaging people and growing their cause because of their unique approach. And the impact they are having on the students, families and the community is beyond impressive.
What those students and their families may not realize:
Since our return home from Saudi Arabia, (A place I once feared and had zero desire to move to.) I have been facilitating a series of workshops for students – sharing what day-to-day life was like while emphasizing critical life, leadership and people skills that they will need throughout their lives.
In each workshop students are given a visual of a natural process that will happen the rest of their lives – as they decide if they have the courage to leave their comfort zones or the grit to survive when life hands them circumstances they can’t control.
Some of the questions I’ve been asked about Saudi are worth sharing:
Have you ever had a small child run to you in fear? (Of the boogeyman under the bed, the barking dog, or the crack of thunder?)
How do you respond?
Do you ignore them? Do you dismiss them? Do you call them boogey-phobic, dog-phobic, or noise-phobic? Do you make fun of them? Or do you shine a light under the bed and explain why they are safe? Take them to meet the neighbor’s dog and see that he is friendly? Or explain how thunder works?
Have you been a titled leader in a business and heard employees expressing concerns about fairness or potential layoffs?
How have you responded?
Do you get defensive and angry that they dare to question you? Do you blow off their concerns? Do you talk down to them? Or do you hear them and respond with understanding, compassion and honesty?
Have you watched divisive current events and taken a side? And then heard from a family member, friend, coworker or neighbor that has taken the other side?
How have you been responding?
Are you ignoring them? Unfriending them? Labeling them? Shouting at them? Making fun of them? Or are you seeking first to understand what is driving them?
Great parents, leaders and friends – listen to questions and fears without anger or labels, or a dismissive attitude. They seek to understand, and then shine a light under the bed and address real and imagined concerns. They are honest about real challenges and about their commitment to their people.
