Tag Archives: Perspective

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Looking Back and Looking Forward after Major Change

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  • One year ago yesterday, I got on a plane and flew away from my comfort zone.
  • One year ago late tonight, I arrived in a land that I had repeatedly expressed a less than zero desire to live in.  (And yes, I came to live here.)
  • One year ago tomorrow, I viewed our new home and met new neighbors for the first time.

So today I’m taking my own advice and pausing:

  • To look back at this journey
  • To evaluate what I hoped would happen and compare it to what did happen
  • To evaluate what I’ve learned
  • And think about what’s next

When we announced our decision I shared the following goals:

1.  I was determined to Turn an Unwanted CHANGE into an Adventure.   

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Uncommon and EXTRAordinary Agents of CHANGE

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Prior to moving to the foreign land I now live in, I read about expat wives.

  • I read about their maids and their drivers.
  • I read about how they filled their time with shopping and the spa and expensive vacations.
  • I read about women that became alcoholics or drug addicts from boredom.

Wow what a picture!  …Expat wives sounded spoiled, pampered, snooty, lonely and sad.

  • I didn’t read anything that highlighted their brilliance, their ability to adapt to change or how critical their role is in providing stability for their husband and children.
  • I didn’t read anything that highlighted the variety of situations they have had to navigate and how they were tested or how they grew stronger.
  • I didn’t read about their wisdom, their compassion or their grit.

But oddly enough every contact I made with experienced expats prior to my move was positive.  Complete strangers offered advice, encouragement, pictures, stories, recon, support, and hope.

In my first week here we had dinner with another couple that has moved 9 times in 12 years to 6 different countries.  Prior to becoming expats her background was in HR.  Immediately I thought of how often HR and hiring mangers frown on hiring people that have been out of the workplace for any period of time.  And then I thought about:

  • How often executives and hiring managers have told me that the biggest challenge to growing their organization is people.  …AND how often I’ve watched those same people pass up great candidates because they aren’t mining for towering strengths in uncommon packages.
  • How many organizations are in the midst of change and struggling.
  • How Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman taught me to mine for, develop and unleash strengths in people.   …And how those lessons helped to transform an under-performing group of individuals into a high performing team that exceeded all of their goals and lead multiple company-wide organizational development projects.

So today I’m launching a new series about “The Real Housewives of Expat Men!”  

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Why You Should Invest Time Leading Your Boss & How To Do It

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Leading and Communicating with your Boss

SmartBlogScene 1: Your previous boss is gone, a new one has been hired and is scheduled to start tomorrow.

  • You lead a great team that is in the midst of change.
  • A new database that was supposed to help the team is not what everyone thought it would be and has significantly increased workload.
  • Now you’re struggling to meet goals and not knocking every goal out of the park like you once did.
  • Everyone is tired, and stressed but trying hard to stay positive and take ownership.

So even though the new boss seems likable, nerves are high.

As you anticipate the change, how will you engage with the new boss?

Several years ago I was in that situation. I am proactive by nature and wanted all the cards on the table as quickly as possible. And, at the same time, I wanted to be considerate of his transition to a new company and a new job while commuting to another state every weekend.

When week three rolled around, I told him I would like to meet with him for one hour as his time allowed.

When we met I was prepared with a binder of information that included:

  • Pictures of the team.
  • History of the team. (We were pretty out of the box in all of our methods and I didn’t want that to be a surprise!)
  • Organizational charts.
  • All of our metrics.
  • Information about our current state and the plan we were working on.

My intention was to be completely honest about the strengths and struggles of the team. Some of what that open binder accomplished was a great strategy, and some of it was a wonderful surprise, it:

  • Helped him learn more about his job and the company.
  • Invited him to join our team.
  • Opened his eyes to see the people instead of the “human resources.”
  • Introduced him to our fun and innovative side.
  • Birthed an instant ally that knew we knew our business and were on it!

Years later, I realized that open binder was the difference between my team’s easy transition to the new leader and the struggles many of my peers faced as they held their cards close to their chests. While they felt micro-managed we felt freedom and support.

Scene 2: The economy is struggling and layoffs are becoming more normal for many organizations.

As I watched those layoffs occur, I’ve noticed that many times the people that were cut were not necessarily resistant to leadership or change, and not necessarily under-performers. Often they were the quiet ones who were good at leading themselves. People who did their work and never ever called attention to themselves. Many times, their work had a fundamental role in an organization, but in their silence, their value was forgotten.

So if you are introverted, hate drawing attention to yourself, or just don’t like someone hanging over you, what do you do? Dare to be a little uncomfortable, be proactive and call a short meeting with your boss or send a brief e-mail to them once a month.

Emphasis on a short meeting or a bulleted e-mail like this:

Hey Boss:

  • Here’s what I’m working on
  • Here’s how my results measure up over last month’s
  • Here’s a problem I faced and how I solved it or a problem I am facing and what I am doing…
  • Here’s a challenge I’m facing and I may need your help.

Just keeping you in the loop. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Guess what you just did?

  • You invited them into your world.
  • You reminded them of the value you bring.
  • You showed them how you think and the types of problems you usually solve that no one ever knows about.
  • And you enlisted them to help you solve a future problem.

Your leaders don’t know what you know, they can’t see what you see. No matter where you sit, it is your job to bring that understanding to them.

Management is not leadership; leadership is leadership. If you seek to lead, invest at least 50% of our time in leading yourself — your own purpose, ethics, principles, motivation conduct. Invest at least 20% leading those with authority over you and 15% leading your peers.” Dee Hock

How about you?  Is it time for YOU to lead up?

 

 

 

Image Credit:  iStock

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It’s not how much you give, It’s how much love you put into it!

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What are the most cherished gifts you have ever received?

For me that list is easy.  They are the most thought-filled gifts and probably some of the least expensive ones I’ve been given.

  1.  There is the Christmas stocking my parents purchased for me when I was four months old because they could not afford any other gifts.
  2.  There is the memory of the first gift my husband ever purchased for me, after hearing about a song I loved.   (This is years before instant downloads, so he visited every music store possible looking for that tape and finally had to ask if a store had it.)  …It had just come in and had to be unpacked and priced before they could sell it to him.
  3.  Then there’s a special collection of Hallmark tree ornaments, that remind my husband and I of a special memory from our dating years.  In order to purchase all four of them, he had to go to the mall every week for a month…

Expat Christmas TreeThis year I am especially inspired by two expat families who are determined to make Christmas memories for their children in spite of the land that we live in.  For little cost, they have created memories that their family will cherish for years to come:

One named a plant Mohammed, created their own decorations, and turned that plant into their Christmas tree last year.   Their kids liked it so much that this year when they had the option of a more traditional tree, they wanted Mohammed!

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Finding Hope & Peace after the Shock & Awe of Painful Experiences

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Last week was the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

I wasn’t alive yet on that day, but immediately my mind thinks of events that have filled my lifetime that bring shock and awe, experiences that are burnt into our consciousness so deeply that it only takes one of our senses to catch a glimpse or a wiff, or a sound and we are instantly transported back in time.

Days like September 11, 2001.

  • Days that are impossible to understand and process.
  • Days that remind us who we are and what we stand for.
  • Days where strangers become friends and family.
  • Days where we grieve and work together.

Days that interrupt the life we have always known and distinctly mark it as the past, leaving us no choice but to create an alternate reality.

Days that we are all reminded that we were created to be a part of a community.

When I think of the days where shock and awe bring us together, I also think of days where painful events alienate individuals from the community we need:

Days we live through these words and the emotions and realities that go with them:

  • Bankrupt
  • Infertile
  • Betrayed
  • Orphaned
  • Mental Illness
  • Cancer
  • Terminated
  • Deceased

And then I think of the people that have pushed through the loss, the confusion, and the pain.  …People that grew wiser, and softer and stronger and turned the shock and awe into a defining moment.