Some people and organizations hate conflict.
They fear:
- Discomfort
- Disagreements
- Judgmental words
- Explosive behavior
- Relationships struggling or ending
Then they allow that fear to drive their results!
- Some feel victimized by the past and hold so tightly to those emotions that they experience less joy and less productivity.
- Others have rumbling fires of anger burning about present issues. Occasionally smoke seeps out as they vent to those closest to them. As those fires continue to grow everyone is at risk of their eventual eruption.
- Some are unwilling to learn an alternative way of dealing with conflict.
- Others don’t realize there is an alternative.
- And none realize that their choice to wait for the other party to change, is spreading growth-eating bacteria throughout their organization.
9 Ways that the fear of conflict kills and destroys:
- The ability to consider the needs of others is replaced with “self” first
- Comfort zones become more important than the mission
- Small problems are unaddressed and become big ones
- New opportunities are avoided
- Collaboration decreases
- Energy, engagement and hope fade
- Growth declines
- People leave
- It becomes harder and harder to simply maintain
Learning how to engage in healthy conflict:
- Builds confidence while increasing compassion
- Keeps the focus on the mission
- Limits the growth of problems
- Unleashes opportunities
- Fosters collaboration
- Generates energy, engagement and hope
- Fuels growth
- Entices people
- Multiplies possibilities and creates a stronger future
While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a business, a marriage, or a life, any single conversation can. -Susan Scott
Want to learn how to have healthy conflict? Check out the resources below:
Want to experience healthy and productive conflict?
A Conversation Safari is a workshop that merges the spirit and adventure of a real safari with an opportunity to dialogue with and learn from those that think differently than you do. …Helping you turn unaligned agendas & conflict into an adventure that fuels problem solving.
Conversation Safari’s are designed to help participants BALANCE the use of their brains AND their hearts. Resulting a dialogue that is fueled by critical thinking AND compassion.
Attendees leave with increased understanding, energy and hope.
Contact Chery to learn more about Conversation Safari’s. 
I love your post, Chery! Conflict is such a tricky subject but if we try to shove it under the rug it will just make things worse. This is what I have noticed with my workshops:
Toxic conflict can derail even the strongest team.
When people don’t address how they are feeling and don’t share the conflict in a healthy way it usually comes out as an attack.
When conflict is addressed and people are encouraged to just listen to the other person’s point of view so much is resolved. Listening without judging is key.
Thanks Chery!
Thank you Terri! I am with you! (I am a recovering under the rug shover!)
It is hard to imagine that the word conflict could actually bring good things. But it can and it does – when you learn not to fear it!
Thanks so much for this article with it’s great list of resources! I am working with a couple of clients right now who run from conflict…this can become a problem anywhere/anytime on the ladder of success….
So true LaRae! There are so many organizations that are struggling because titled leadership won’t step into the tension and address issues that are growing. In some cases this has gone on so long you can hear the death rattle. In other cases they had to close the doors and turn off the lights forever.
Love that your conversation safaris are a place to model healthy conflict. Your post is spot on. The more we avoid, the bigger things grow.
Alli
Thank you Alli! Teaching, modeling, and providing safe places to learn healthy conflict is becoming a huge passion!