9 Ways that the Fear of Conflict Kills and Destroys

Some people and organizations hate conflict.

They fear:

  1. Discomfort
  2. Disagreements
  3. Judgmental words
  4. Explosive behavior
  5. Relationships struggling or ending

Then they allow that fear to drive their results!

  • Some feel victimized by the past and hold so tightly to those emotions that they experience less joy and less productivity.
  • Others have rumbling fires of anger burning about present issues. Occasionally smoke seeps out as they vent to those closest to them. As those fires continue to grow everyone is at risk of their eventual eruption.
  • Some are unwilling to learn an alternative way of dealing with conflict.
  • Others don’t realize there is an alternative.
  • And none realize that their choice to wait for the other party to change, is spreading growth-eating bacteria throughout their organization.

Reasons for HOPE: Beyond the Great Divides that Separate Us

In business, families, faith-based organizations and communities I’ve continuously witnessed the power of these words:

Together WE STAND. Divided WE FALL.

Prior to moving to Saudi Arabia, my focus on divisive current events was growing. …As was my determination to find ways to bring people together to find solutions.

So I began sharing this dream with others:Think about issues that divide us

10 Reasons Why: Curiosity is More Important than Knowledge

…Einstein said it. Here’s why you need to remember it!

A brilliant woman that has been actively serving her community for years – is well known and highly regarded. In spite of that, she will occasionally admit that she struggles with imposter syndrome.

Another woman has chosen to share many of her golden years volunteering in several political roles. She is quick to emphasize how little she knew about politics when she got involved, and how much more she has to learn. In spite of all she doesn’t know, she is often surprised when people all across her state know her name and are recognizing her knowledge and contributions.

Here’s what both ladies don’t realize:

Free to Speak: Are your words building or dividing?

Chery Gegelman Winning Well International SymposiumPeople that work with winning well leaders...
Last week, I leveraged some extreme examples from our time in the Middle East to emphasize 6 Ways to Transform a Divisive Culture  in the Winning Well International Symposium.
 
This week, I’m sharing more of our experiences and encouraging each of you to apply some of those learning’s to your lives and leadership.

Have you ever pondered the reasons or benefits of free speech?

  • In nations?
  • Or workplaces?

The purpose of being able to speak freely

Obviously speaking freely is not allowed in many nations or workplaces.

That choice:
  • Lowers leadership accountability and potential.
  • Impacts the way two people or thousands of people work together.
  • Determines how well resources are utilized and how quickly problems are solved.
  • Limits the overall health, effectiveness, and future of their workplace or nation.

Speech was controlled in the place we lived for four years, in many ways.  Below are a few examples:

What’s your litmus test for people: Honesty or skill?

When do you fold ‘em, walk away or run?

Once upon a time I worked for a charismatic leader with a serious set of skills. Someone I learned from constantly and deeply admired …

  • Until I caught him in a lie.
  • And then a second one.
  • A third one.
  • A fourth one.
  • And finally a fifth one.

The crazy part was – I wasn’t hunting for lies. I literally kept tripping into them – all five in a very short amount of time after years of working together.

When I confronted for the last time. He said, “I don’t know how you keep finding these things out.” No denial. No excuses. No apology.

A short time later – I “fired him” by turning in my notice.


Titled leaders and employees can all be tempted to overlook honesty because of skill.