How to Choose Your Response to Situations Beyond Your Control

Increasing understanding, critical thinking, compassion and collaboration

It's easy to get angry and defensive

Viktor Frankl survived a concentration camp and said this…

Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.

Post Charlottesville conflict continues to fill the airwaves and cyberspace, encouraging chaos and division.

…So how have you been responding?  Are you:

  1. Denying that this conflict is impacting real lives, workplaces and communities?
  2. Pushing your perspective on others?
  3. Sitting in silence and worrying about it?
  4. Studying the issues, and then carrying your candle into the darkness, determined to be a part of the solution?

IF YOU SEEK TO BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION:

The process below will help you fully leverage your freedom, while strategically using both your mind and your heart.

The Great Divide and How You Can Build a Bridge To Cross It

We’ve been back in the U.S. for nearly 6 weeks. Watching the divide we witnessed across the ocean.  Aching as it appears to be growing deeper and wider.

I know I’m not alone in my concern for our country or in my desire to be a part of the solution. Several of my leadership connections have been sharing both struggles and wisdom in their blogs.

Alli Polin, Erin Schreyer, Steve Keating and Jesse Lyn Stoner have each written important articles to help us build bridges across that divide.

  • Each of the image quotes below highlight something from their articles that I found especially powerful.
  • Each of their original articles are linked after each image through their name.

If you are struggling with the current state of our union – I encourage you to:

  • Read each one
  • Watch the Conversation Safari video at the end of this post

And then make strategic choices to be the change you want to see

Are you waiting on things outside of your control? 9 Tips to keep you going!

waiting at a traffic light

We’re in the midst of waiting. Months and months of waiting…

  • In September – We knew we were moving back across the ocean to the land we call home
  • In October – The move was stopped and from morning to night and from day to day, what we were doing and when we were doing it changed, as things changed within the company
  • In early November – we were moving again and it looked impossible not to be home for Christmas
  • Then week after week and weekend after weekend – through Thanksgiving, and Christmas, our Anniversary and New Years we would do what we could do and then wait – on the company, the movers, the government and Harley Davidson
  • 11 days ago – all of our household things were loaded into a container for overseas shipment
  • 7 days ago – our motorcycle was crated and taken to our container
  • It’s almost mid-January and we’re still waiting – for paperwork to clear so we can leave

The emotional roller coaster has been intense:

An uncommon alternative, when current events make you angry and fearful

Conversation Safari

On November 15th, twenty-eight women from a variety of races, nations and religions gathered together for a Conversation Safari.  The plan was to dive into divisive current events and the fears that drive our emotions, our behaviors and our results.

Our topic had been planned for months based on several private conversations:

  • I’d had with a Muslim neighbor
  • And several different conversations I’d had with ladies that will always have a better tan than I do

In each of those private conversations we shared fears, we felt each other’s pain, and considered new perspectives.

(The date of our event had been chosen because of some scheduling conflicts, not because of a master strategy.  But when November 9th rolled around and the election results from the U.S. hit the airwaves – fear in across the world and in the expat sandbox grew.  Our topic could not have been more perfectly timed.)

  • One of the women I had met with during the summer shared what was happening at the University that her son attends in the U.S.
  • Other neighbors were posting deep concern for their safety in the world
  • While other friends in the U.S. were sharing deep concerns about racism and bigotry

Overcoming dread: When your opinionated peer becomes your boss

A true story: About listening, teamwork and growth

Dreading that opinionated new boss?

ExpectationsImagine learning that a very obstinate peer is going to become your new boss. Yes – the opinionated one that is like a dog with a bone and just won’t drop a subject, and almost always opposes your point of view.

To say you are concerned is an understatement! That overwhelming dread you are feeling is fueled by RAW FEAR.