Tag Archives: Comfort Zone

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Breaking the Cycle of Division – Unity Begins with You!

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When my husband said we were asked to move to a giant sandbox on the other side of the world my stomach churned so hard I had to sit down.

How was this possible?  We said we would go ANYWHERE in the world except – THERE!  Scenes from movies and the news melded with my own fears and questions were fired off so rapidly my husband could not reply.

A “yes” wasn’t possible if I could not change my thinking:

  • From the losses to the possible gains.
  • From the challenges to the possible opportunities.
  • From fear to faith.
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Benefits of Learning from Those That Think Differently

Real Growth - No Pixie Dust! -Really!

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In 1999 I read Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People for the first time.  One of the stories in that book that captured my attention was about David Lilienthal, a man that was commissioned to head the new Atomic Energy Commission.

He brought together a very diverse bunch of influential individuals. And although they had a huge agenda and the press was pushing them for results he believed that efficiency was not the first priority – synergy was. So he wisely invested time facilitating relationship building, causing them to deeply understand each other’s history, goals, passions, and perspectives and transforming a group of individuals into a passionate team.

This is how Stephen Covey describes the result: “The respect among the members of the commission was so high that if there was disagreement, instead of opposition and defense, there was a genuine effort to understand.  The attitude was, “If a person of your intelligence and competence and commitment disagrees with me, then there must be something to your disagreement that I don’t understand, and I need to understand it.  You have a perspective, a frame of reference I need to look at.”  

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Opinions Anonymous

For recovering opinionistas that are tired of division.

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Have you got a list of values that you hold so dearly, that they actually define who you are?

  • I do too.

And I used to really struggle with those that didn’t share those values.

As a child, I would passionately argue my convictions and not listen to those that did not share my opinions.  (Because they were simply wrong!)

As a young professional, I thought it was horribly rude for people to roll their eyes in disagreement – but the shaking of my head as others spoke – screamed how wrong they were. (And how unwilling I was to listen.)

Hi! My name is Chery, and I am a recovering opinionista! (…Emphasis on recovering.) Somewhere along the way, I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror, and I didn’t like what I saw.

So I began to listen more and talk less. (Not because I didn’t have opinions, but because I didn’t know how to share them and really listen.)

Along the way I heard personal stories from people who had opposing views about some of the values that I hold most dear. And I began to really consider what it was like to walk in their shoes and even wonder if I’d experienced what they had, if I would hold those same views.

In most cases, my convictions did not change, but my understanding, compassion and creativity increased:

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5 Tips to limit over-correcting throughout a behavior change

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Have you ever realized you needed to change your behavior to be more effective but over-corrected?
  • …Like learning to drive, and turning the wheel to fast or hitting the brake too hard and then doing the complete opposite?
 A titled leader I know has a great gift for detail.  
  • He makes a plan, works his plan, dots i’s crosses, t’s, and always delivers before the deadline.
  • If you have a question about a project, he’s researched it, and has a file full of information that can help you.

The challenge is that he is not an attention seeker and he doesn’t fight for the spotlight.

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Are you ready to pack dreams and reinvent?

A new year! A new you!

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Earlier this week movers came to the home of our dear friends and packed everything they had to prepare for a move to another country.

  • It’s a great career opportunity for him.
  • It means more daily freedom for her.

But it’s still stressful.

  • Anticipation, doubt and fear swirl together about the unknowns.
  • And at the same time they process the emotions of an ending before the new beginning…

As 2015 comes to an end, you may be considering a new beginning, a fresh start, a change or a reinvention…