Tag Archives: communication

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Opinions Anonymous

For recovering opinionistas that are tired of division.

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Have you got a list of values that you hold so dearly, that they actually define who you are?

  • I do too.

And I used to really struggle with those that didn’t share those values.

As a child, I would passionately argue my convictions and not listen to those that did not share my opinions.  (Because they were simply wrong!)

As a young professional, I thought it was horribly rude for people to roll their eyes in disagreement – but the shaking of my head as others spoke – screamed how wrong they were. (And how unwilling I was to listen.)

Hi! My name is Chery, and I am a recovering opinionista! (…Emphasis on recovering.) Somewhere along the way, I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror, and I didn’t like what I saw.

So I began to listen more and talk less. (Not because I didn’t have opinions, but because I didn’t know how to share them and really listen.)

Along the way I heard personal stories from people who had opposing views about some of the values that I hold most dear. And I began to really consider what it was like to walk in their shoes and even wonder if I’d experienced what they had, if I would hold those same views.

In most cases, my convictions did not change, but my understanding, compassion and creativity increased:

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5 Tips to limit over-correcting throughout a behavior change

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Have you ever realized you needed to change your behavior to be more effective but over-corrected?
  • …Like learning to drive, and turning the wheel to fast or hitting the brake too hard and then doing the complete opposite?
 A titled leader I know has a great gift for detail.  
  • He makes a plan, works his plan, dots i’s crosses, t’s, and always delivers before the deadline.
  • If you have a question about a project, he’s researched it, and has a file full of information that can help you.

The challenge is that he is not an attention seeker and he doesn’t fight for the spotlight.

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Uncomfortable Questions and Leadership…

Do you encourage them, consider them and ask them?

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I was leading a small team in a culturally diverse city in the U.S. when two of my employees asked why all the titled leaders on our leadership team were white.

I was raised in a part of the country that was not culturally diverse, today – nearly a decade after their question 89% of the population in my home state is white and 95% of the county that surrounded the town I grew up in was white.  As a result, it was a question I didn’t see coming and one I did not have a good answer for.

[Tweet “If you seek to lead well… You will consider uncomfortable questions.”]

My reactions:

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Maximize Your Purpose with an Altered Path

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The Dream GiverYears ago I read a book called The Dream Giver.

It’s a beautiful little book that emphasizes that each one of us is born for a purpose. As children we often see this as our big dream.  Often between childhood and adulthood we forget the dream or walk away from it because it seems impossible.  And then one day we are reminded of the dream again and we make the choice to pursue the dream or to let it die forever.  Then the book helps you anticipate and prepare for the challenges you will encounter as you journey from where you are to where that dream is.

I purchased the book in 2003 shortly after it was published, simply because I liked the author.  As soon as I opened it I was hooked, because I had a dream as a child. It was a dream that I forgot all about as life happened. And then in 1999, I it came back full force. In 2001, I took my first very clear step toward the dream.

Since 2003, I’ve referred to that book several times a year. It’s highlighted, filled with notes, scribbles and pages that are bent back.  In October 2010 I referred to it constantly as I launched a new consulting business in a city I had never lived in and knew no one but my husband.

In November 2012 just as my new business was gaining momentum, my husband was asked to accept a position a half a world away, and this quote from the book filled my mind…

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1 Way You Can Create a More Peaceful World (Really!)

International Day of Peace, Sept 21, 2015

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This is the second post leading up to the International Day of Peace on Sept 21.

The goal?

  • To share why real peace (not fake peace) matters to organizations, communities, and our world.
  • And to highlight specific behavior that anyone can do, wherever we are… To make a difference.

How many articles have you read lately where the headline and the image were shocking?

…But there’s a COMPLETE DISCONNECT between the article and the hooks that made your blood pressure rise?