Looking Back and Looking Forward after Major Change

  • One year ago yesterday, I got on a plane and flew away from my comfort zone.
  • One year ago late tonight, I arrived in a land that I had repeatedly expressed a less than zero desire to live in.  (And yes, I came to live here.)
  • One year ago tomorrow, I viewed our new home and met new neighbors for the first time.

So today I’m taking my own advice and pausing:

  • To look back at this journey
  • To evaluate what I hoped would happen and compare it to what did happen
  • To evaluate what I’ve learned
  • And think about what’s next

When we announced our decision I shared the following goals:

1.  I was determined to Turn an Unwanted CHANGE into an Adventure.   

Chaos or Vision: YOU Choose!

As expats we live in a secure compound with high walls, inside those walls we have grass, trees, flowers, beauty and order.

Without a Vision

Many local families live in their own high walled “compounds” with their extended families.  And although I have never been behind those walls I have heard of their gardens.

Outside of all of our walls is the city we all share.  Most of the city is full of trash, partially developed buildings, blowing sand, broken sidewalks – if there are sidewalks at all; narrow streets and tiny parking lots that don’t accommodate all of the cars, and random unmatched street lights that don’t begin to illuminate the dark.

A few weeks ago I met with some local women and they encouraged me to check out a city that is 101 kilometers (62.75 miles) away.

This past weekend, my husband and I rode there on our Harley with several other couples.

Before we left one of the women commented about how much she likes the city we were driving to.  When I asked why she said, “it is just like the movies at night, it is all lit up…”

So as we drove into this neighboring city my eyes were wide open…

As I looked specifically for light sources I noticed several things:

…Need people that are skilled at managing & coping with change?

goldfish jumping out of the waterLast year, The Institute for Corporate Productivity released a study listing the Top 10 Critical Human Capital Issues for 2013.  Numero Uno on that list was Managing and Coping with Change.  

One of the big reasons for this blog series about “The Real Housewives of Expat Men” is to share stories and lessons from real people that have become highly skilled at doing just that!

  • If your organization needs help Managing and Coping with Change – try hiring one!
  • And if your organization hires expats, please take a few minutes and consider the families that serve you and how they in turn serve your customers.

If you don’t know any – you’ll still love their stories. And if you spend any time thinking about them, you will discover ways to help the people in your organization and your neighbors at a higher level.

We’ve walked into paralyzing fears and become stronger.

We’re doctors, nurses, schoolteachers, writers, actresses, artists, musicians, hair-stylists, yoga teachers, economists, consultants…

We’re red, and yellow, black and white and every color you can imagine.

We’re in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and yes even in our 70’s!

Some of us are newlyweds, some are new mothers, some are raising teenagers, some have four-legged furry-children, and others have grandchildren.

We’re Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu…

Some of us have husbands home each night, while others navigate the new lands we live in while our spouses travel or are offshore for weeks at a time.

We’re not just “Trailing Spouses” – We’re real people that have been “Thrown In” and instead of being destroyed by the pressure of constant change and the unknown we’re transforming.

[Tweet “We’re The Real Housewives of Expat Men”]

Agents of Change iStockLast week I announced a new blog series about Expat Wives in this post:   

Uncommon and EXTRAordinary Agents of Change  

This is the first story in the series.  

  • It’s written to encourage anyone in the midst of change.
  • It’s written for everyone that loves an adventure.
  • It’s written to remind Recruiters and Hiring Managers that in order to find Diamonds you have to mine for them.
  • It’s written challenge companies that hire expats to evaluate their processes.
  • And most of all it’s written with a grateful heart and in honor of the women I’ve met on my journey.

Uncommon and EXTRAordinary Agents of CHANGE

Prior to moving to the foreign land I now live in, I read about expat wives.

  • I read about their maids and their drivers.
  • I read about how they filled their time with shopping and the spa and expensive vacations.
  • I read about women that became alcoholics or drug addicts from boredom.

Wow what a picture!  …Expat wives sounded spoiled, pampered, snooty, lonely and sad.

  • I didn’t read anything that highlighted their brilliance, their ability to adapt to change or how critical their role is in providing stability for their husband and children.
  • I didn’t read anything that highlighted the variety of situations they have had to navigate and how they were tested or how they grew stronger.
  • I didn’t read about their wisdom, their compassion or their grit.

But oddly enough every contact I made with experienced expats prior to my move was positive.  Complete strangers offered advice, encouragement, pictures, stories, recon, support, and hope.

In my first week here we had dinner with another couple that has moved 9 times in 12 years to 6 different countries.  Prior to becoming expats her background was in HR.  Immediately I thought of how often HR and hiring mangers frown on hiring people that have been out of the workplace for any period of time.  And then I thought about:

  • How often executives and hiring managers have told me that the biggest challenge to growing their organization is people.  AND how often I’ve watched those same people pass up great candidates because they aren’t mining for towering strengths in uncommon packages.
  • How many organizations are in the midst of change and struggling.
  • How Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman taught me to mine for, develop and unleash strengths in people.   …And how those lessons helped to transform an under-performing group of individuals into a high performing team that exceeded all of their goals and lead multiple company-wide organizational development projects.

So today I’m launching a new series about “The Real Housewives of Expat Men!”