Risk, Conflict, Struggle and a Path Forward

Last week someone asked how I was feeling about a particular topic.

I answered from the heart.   I was struggling.  I was viewing something with fresh eyes and could clearly see that years of doing something had created a comfort zone where there is risk.  Today that comfort zone is so big that unnecessary risks are being taken without a second thought.

Instead of really listening, this person attempted to explain away my concerns with something that sounded a bit like this, “We’ve always done it this way and we’ve never had a problem…”

When the conversation ended I felt like a puppy dog that had been patted on the head and dismissed.

I felt frustrated about being asked to share my thoughts, when the person asking did not demonstrate any desire to hear them.

As I was tempted to dwell on the frustration I made my mind switch gears and consider another perspective:

  1. When and how often have I sensed that someone was struggling, asked what their thoughts were and then tried to “sell” the current state instead of really listening?
  2. I know this person’s heart.  They care deeply for people and want everyone to be comfortable and happy.  They are so comfortable with this situation it is hard for them to see the risk.  And they dislike conflict so much that even a difference of opinion leaves them feeling shaken.   (So head patting is a natural reaction!)

Considering the intention behind someone’s actions diffuses ticking time-bombs.  (Click To Tweet)

As my brain switched gears I came away with this:

  • I remembered:  There are always lessons for us in the midst of conflict if we choose to see them.  (Click To Tweet)
  • My learning?   Not being heard reminds me how important it is to listen to others.  (Click To Tweet)
  • The current state?  I still see the risk and I know that I am a part of the problem if I choose to sit in silence.  (Click To Tweet)
  • My action plan?  To proactively engage again choosing to bring understanding, compassion, the right amount of light, illustrations and recommended solutions.

Your Turn!  iStock_000009905754XSmallHow about you? 

Have you ever felt unheard and frustrated? How do you choose another perspective?  What actions do you take?

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President, Giana Consulting

Chery Gegelman is an adventurer that loves to learn. ...Deep conversations, books, travel, and daily living are all food for growth.

As a speaker, facilitator and workshop leader she creates energizing environments that reflect God's grace, tear down walls, help people to consider new perspectives, and inspire change.

Chery is the Founder of Giana Consulting and Conversation Safari's, listed as a Great Leadership Speaker by Inc., writes a recognized leadership blog and has co-authored two leadership books.

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