Tag Archives: growth

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The good, bad and ugly of: “I want it my way”

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Several years ago I interviewed someone that had a lot of impressive experience, someone that I enjoyed in many ways, but someone I did not endorse as a prospective team member for only one reason… My gut said that this person would consistently operate with this philosophy, “It’s My Way or The Highway!” And I knew that mode of thinking would damage relationships, divide teams, decrease effectiveness and impact customers.

Recently I’ve witnessed other situations where a group of people have been so focused on what they wanted, that even after a majority decision they used intense peer pressure, persistence, and manipulation in attempts to force their agenda.

So I’ve been pondering:

  • What causes people to behave this way..
  • When is it wise to believe in your vision so much that you absolutely won’t bend?
  • And when is it wise to leave your ego behind and seek a win/win?

This is what I’ve come away with:

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When doubt whispers in your ear – What do you focus on?

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Several years ago I was in a new role that required me to give a presentation to the largest audience I’d ever spoken to.

  • As I prepared for that event a part of my mind wanted to focus on everything that might go wrong,
  • While the other part of my mind just wanted to listen to my heart and focus on the opportunity.

I chose to listen to my heart and had fun preparing the presentation.  However, as the date of the event grew closer, the fearful part of my mind started raising doubts again.

In the midst of those thoughts I remembered tips from speech tournaments – tips like visualizing your audience in their underwear.  (After a quick giggle at that idea, I dismissed it, wondering how anyone could do that and actually make it through a presentation!)

At the same time, I knew that I needed to confront the flashes of doubt that my mind was generating.

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We’ve walked into paralyzing fears and become stronger.

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We’re doctors, nurses, schoolteachers, writers, actresses, artists, musicians, hair-stylists, yoga teachers, economists, consultants…

We’re red, and yellow, black and white and every color you can imagine.

We’re in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and yes even in our 70’s!

Some of us are newlyweds, some are new mothers, some are raising teenagers, some have four-legged furry-children, and others have grandchildren.

We’re Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu…

Some of us have husbands home each night, while others navigate the new lands we live in while our spouses travel or are offshore for weeks at a time.

We’re not just “Trailing Spouses” – We’re real people that have been “Thrown In” and instead of being destroyed by the pressure of constant change and the unknown we’re transforming.

[Tweet “We’re The Real Housewives of Expat Men”]

Agents of Change iStockLast week I announced a new blog series about Expat Wives in this post:   

Uncommon and EXTRAordinary Agents of Change  

This is the first story in the series.  

  • It’s written to encourage anyone in the midst of change.
  • It’s written for everyone that loves an adventure.
  • It’s written to remind Recruiters and Hiring Managers that in order to find Diamonds you have to mine for them.
  • It’s written challenge companies that hire expats to evaluate their processes.
  • And most of all it’s written with a grateful heart and in honor of the women I’ve met on my journey.

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The Spark That Keeps Organizations Growing: The Invitation

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Years ago I was in a new role and at the last minute discovered that one of my “other duties as assigned” was to lead a service project at a summer camp before it opened each year.

The InvitationSo I made a few phone calls to invite some people to join me.  One of the calls was to a young mother that I had just met.  Two years later as I prepared for a move, that woman came to see me.

She emphasized the importance of that invitation and stressed that it was the spark that ignited her fire.

Prior to that call she had been thinking about changing her membership, and going somewhere else.  After being invited to participate and making one personal connection with someone, she got more involved.   As more time passed her sense of belonging and her ownership in the future of the organization increased.

And it all started with a personal invitation.

[Tweet “No matter what kind of organization you lead, personal invitations will ignite your growth.”]

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When Comfort Zones become Cliques – Leadership Quakes

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Leaders are human and surrounded by temptations to be comfortable. [Tweet “What happens when a titled leader struggles to stand alone? Leadership Quakes @GianaConsulting”] What happens when work friendships become so comfortable they become a clique? It can impact your growth, your credibility and the growth of your organization. How do you know when your comfort zone is holding you and your organization back?

When comfort zones become cliques: Leadership Quakes