Tag Archives: Self-Leadership

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Benefits of Learning from Those That Think Differently

Real Growth - No Pixie Dust! -Really!

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In 1999 I read Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People for the first time.  One of the stories in that book that captured my attention was about David Lilienthal, a man that was commissioned to head the new Atomic Energy Commission.

He brought together a very diverse bunch of influential individuals. And although they had a huge agenda and the press was pushing them for results he believed that efficiency was not the first priority – synergy was. So he wisely invested time facilitating relationship building, causing them to deeply understand each other’s history, goals, passions, and perspectives and transforming a group of individuals into a passionate team.

This is how Stephen Covey describes the result: “The respect among the members of the commission was so high that if there was disagreement, instead of opposition and defense, there was a genuine effort to understand.  The attitude was, “If a person of your intelligence and competence and commitment disagrees with me, then there must be something to your disagreement that I don’t understand, and I need to understand it.  You have a perspective, a frame of reference I need to look at.”  

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Opinions Anonymous

For recovering opinionistas that are tired of division.

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Have you got a list of values that you hold so dearly, that they actually define who you are?

  • I do too.

And I used to really struggle with those that didn’t share those values.

As a child, I would passionately argue my convictions and not listen to those that did not share my opinions.  (Because they were simply wrong!)

As a young professional, I thought it was horribly rude for people to roll their eyes in disagreement – but the shaking of my head as others spoke – screamed how wrong they were. (And how unwilling I was to listen.)

Hi! My name is Chery, and I am a recovering opinionista! (…Emphasis on recovering.) Somewhere along the way, I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror, and I didn’t like what I saw.

So I began to listen more and talk less. (Not because I didn’t have opinions, but because I didn’t know how to share them and really listen.)

Along the way I heard personal stories from people who had opposing views about some of the values that I hold most dear. And I began to really consider what it was like to walk in their shoes and even wonder if I’d experienced what they had, if I would hold those same views.

In most cases, my convictions did not change, but my understanding, compassion and creativity increased:

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Why Persist?

8 Reasons to Keep Working for The Change You Desire

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Over the past few months I’ve had several opportunities to visit with groups of people whose lives are being impacted by policies they don’t like or agree with.

Most of them have communicated their concerns with the first level key stakeholder – hoping for a fast change. Now it’s clear that although that person cares, change can’t happen from that level.

So individually some of them have:

  • Sent one email to the decision maker.
  • Sent more than one email to the decision maker.
  • Sent one email and attended one meeting.

Collectively their over-riding belief is that the key-stakeholder can’t be trusted and change just isn’t going to happen.

So most have stopped communicating while others never bothered to communicate directly with the one person that can make change happen.

At the same time, they are still so troubled by the situation that each time the topic comes up, almost all of them continue to express lots of frustration and absorb the not so positive energy of those around them.

So why persist?

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5 Tips to limit over-correcting throughout a behavior change

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Have you ever realized you needed to change your behavior to be more effective but over-corrected?
  • …Like learning to drive, and turning the wheel to fast or hitting the brake too hard and then doing the complete opposite?
 A titled leader I know has a great gift for detail.  
  • He makes a plan, works his plan, dots i’s crosses, t’s, and always delivers before the deadline.
  • If you have a question about a project, he’s researched it, and has a file full of information that can help you.

The challenge is that he is not an attention seeker and he doesn’t fight for the spotlight.

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4 Tips for Building Confidence in a Transition

Between The Top of Your Game and Reinvention

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Have you ever been at the top of your game and:

  • Graduated into adulthood to start your career?
  • Transitioned from the military to the civilian world?
  • Experienced a life-altering event that forced you to start over?
  • Decided to leave what you’ve always done to pursue an uncommon path?

In the space between what you left and what you were pursuing… Did you struggle?

Did you feel your confidence tanking as you: Worked to learn and define your new role and become successful at it, while navigating a culture and politics that were foreign to you?