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Dear Bully

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My friend, Kate Nasser is doing a beautiful job of leveraging her #PeopleSkills platform to shine a light on workplace bullying.

She recently challenged my friend and co-author Susan Mazza to share her Letter To A Bully on her blog.

In Susan’s post she asked, [Tweet “If you wrote a letter to a bully, what would you say?”]

It did not take me long to craft my response to Susan because I’ve spent so much time pondering this issue – long before I called it what it is.  (Anyone that tears down others so that they will feel better about themselves is a bully.)  Below are links to three of my previous posts.

1. I was a bully, and it changed my life.

2.  Like you, I’ve seen great leaders and I’ve seen workplace bullying that reminds me of the playground.   It makes my stomach churn and my heart ache.

3. Bullies on the playground and in the workplace reflect the hearts and minds of racists, drug lords, human traffickers and unfortunately many world leaders.

This was my answer to Susan…

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Chaos or Vision: YOU Choose!

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As expats we live in a secure compound with high walls, inside those walls we have grass, trees, flowers, beauty and order.

Without a Vision

Many local families live in their own high walled “compounds” with their extended families.  And although I have never been behind those walls I have heard of their gardens.

Outside of all of our walls is the city we all share.  Most of the city is full of trash, partially developed buildings, blowing sand, broken sidewalks – if there are sidewalks at all; narrow streets and tiny parking lots that don’t accommodate all of the cars, and random unmatched street lights that don’t begin to illuminate the dark.

A few weeks ago I met with some local women and they encouraged me to check out a city that is 101 kilometers (62.75 miles) away.

This past weekend, my husband and I rode there on our Harley with several other couples.

Before we left one of the women commented about how much she likes the city we were driving to.  When I asked why she said, “it is just like the movies at night, it is all lit up…”

So as we drove into this neighboring city my eyes were wide open…

As I looked specifically for light sources I noticed several things:

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Is it Good to Be a FIRST? Or Is it a Judgment?

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The Power of FirstsAs a society we tend to label and categorize everything into the smallest, tiniest little box so it seems more clearly defined but is it always necessary?  We always want to clarify with adjectives, adverbs and descriptors so there is no margin for error in what we are talking about.

The Power of Firsts
  1. Does it help us to visualize better?
  2. Or does it hold more negative connotations instead of creating equality? Is it a form of discrimination?
  3. Will it call attention to and single out individuals as more of a minority status? How can this be kind?

About a month ago I got a note from Jane Perdue with an invitation to write a guest post for her blog with these questions as thought starters…

Do you ever wonder what women, men and society need to do so that…

  1. Women and persons of color are designated as a doctor, not “a woman doctor;” as a scientist, not “a Latino scientist,” etc.?
  2. Special designations aren’t needed in announcements, e.g.:  the first woman to lead the federal reserve, the first female best director Academy Award winner, the first African American female flight crew, etc.?

I struggled with this topic for a month. I was so torn but my heart and most recent experiences led me to a very eye opening conclusion. One you may be surprised by.

Read more at: Braithwaite Innovation Group Why our world needs FIRSTS – LeadBIG

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Leadership 101: Consistent, Fair, Explainable

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Several years ago a mentor shared his business plan with me.  In part of it he wrote something he called a STAND.  When I asked what that was, he said it was knowing what you stand for before you are faced with a situation and have to make a choice.

I’ve shared part of his leadership wisdom and how it impacted me in this previous Smart Blog Post:  Why Leaders Need To Practice Compassionate Accountability

For the past several weeks I’ve been focused on another part of his STAND:  “[Tweet “I choose to be Consistent, Fair, and Explainable in all that I do.”]

These are some of the reasons those words are resonating with me again:

I’ve been studying the impact of parents that have a favorite child that is treated differently than the others.  It’s an ugly situation for everyone.  ….Even the favored child.

I’ve been thinking of times I’ve witnessed a boss becoming close friends with some of their employees and how that broke down trust with other employees.  (Even if both the boss and the employee were holding each other to a higher level of accountability, the perception of unfairness was still there.)

I know an executive that is struggling because he makes hard fast rules that sound powerful in his office, however when the rules are challenged or violated that executive avoids confrontation at all costs.

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Putting the HUMAN back in Human Resources

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This is the third post in our series:  What does HR Really Stand For:  Human Resources or Human Remains?

Kevin KennemerAs I thought through this series, I reached out Kevin Kennemer because I knew that he had both the passion and the data to make the case that Great Workplaces enjoy a significant competitive advantage over their competition.  Kevin is a Great Workplace Advocate, and the founder of The People Group, a firm dedicated to transforming companies into winning workplaces. He works with CEO’s of small and medium sized businesses to create work environments built on trust, respect and dignity.  Kevin holds a Master’s Degree in Organizational Management.  This is what Kevin had to say: