Category Archives: Beyond Comfort Zones

We are all AmbassadorsIn November 2012 we were asked to make a move to the only part of the world we said we never wanted to live. After much prayer and consideration we decided to turn that unwanted opportunity into an adventure!

The articles below are from our lives as expatriates (expats). Our experiences are filled with discovery, laughter, alternate perspectives, and deep thoughts about how that unwelcome invitation continues to teach us about life and leadership.

If you are contemplating life outside of your own country, we highly recommend it.   And we warn you that you will grow in ways you can’t begin to imagine.  Your perspective will change, your understanding will grow, and you will never be the same.  

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We’ve walked into paralyzing fears and become stronger.

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We’re doctors, nurses, schoolteachers, writers, actresses, artists, musicians, hair-stylists, yoga teachers, economists, consultants…

We’re red, and yellow, black and white and every color you can imagine.

We’re in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and yes even in our 70’s!

Some of us are newlyweds, some are new mothers, some are raising teenagers, some have four-legged furry-children, and others have grandchildren.

We’re Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu…

Some of us have husbands home each night, while others navigate the new lands we live in while our spouses travel or are offshore for weeks at a time.

We’re not just “Trailing Spouses” – We’re real people that have been “Thrown In” and instead of being destroyed by the pressure of constant change and the unknown we’re transforming.

[Tweet “We’re The Real Housewives of Expat Men”]

Agents of Change iStockLast week I announced a new blog series about Expat Wives in this post:   

Uncommon and EXTRAordinary Agents of Change  

This is the first story in the series.  

  • It’s written to encourage anyone in the midst of change.
  • It’s written for everyone that loves an adventure.
  • It’s written to remind Recruiters and Hiring Managers that in order to find Diamonds you have to mine for them.
  • It’s written challenge companies that hire expats to evaluate their processes.
  • And most of all it’s written with a grateful heart and in honor of the women I’ve met on my journey.

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9-11-2001 From An Uncommon Perspective

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Last year I kicked off this blog just before the Anniversary of 9-11-2001 and included some of our story from that day that none of us will ever forget.

Freedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward and freedom will be defended.  President Bush

At that time, I had no idea that I would be spending this year’s anniversary of that occasion in a big sandbox on the other side of the world.

All of a sudden there were people screaming. I saw people jumping out of the building. Their arms were flailing. I stopped taking pictures and started crying.  Michael Walters

Yesterday, I sat in a room filled with American Expats, some of which have lived in this sandbox for more than 20 years, some more than 10 years, and many in the less than five year category.  (And yes – those of us in the less than 5 year category are holding tightly to our 3- year commitment!)

During the gathering my friend, Jan Hibler shared why this group means so much to her and emphasized how much harder life was here 12 years ago.  (If you’ve been following my expat stories – you know that life here is a challenge today, so imagining even more constraints just adds exclamation marks to those stories.)

And then that day came when the planes hit and while we were focused on what was going on in America, this is small taste of what life was like for the people here…

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Back in the Sandbox: On Change and Expat Life

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A short time ago, I wrote about some of the major adjustments of our recent move to become first-time expats in a big sandbox and shared that the hardest time for me after any move consistently occurs four and six months after each move.  (I’m in that zone now.)

Three weeks ago we were blessed with a two-week vacation to see the people we love, and to do some traveling.  Now everyone is asking if it is even harder to go back to the sandbox.

Yes – I’m tired.  I think that’s from the traveling and the heat and humidity we returned to.

No – I did not miss my “cloak of invisibility” – I did not dig it out once the entire time we were gone.

IMG_0229Yes – I still miss blue skies and puffy clouds.  (I took this photo of puffy clouds on the plane.)

No – I didn’t think I missed driving that much, until I saw my car.  When I saw it I literally had to go sit in it, and open the sunroof and imagine I was cruising down the road on day filled with bright sunshine and cool breezes. (Unfortunately, driving it will have to wait until the next visit with the hopes that there will be more time re-tag it and get it out of storage.)

However, many of my friends said that after a summer away from this place, returning was harder than usual.  (…And not being able to load their children in a car and take off go wherever and whenever they want to, is one of the reasons for their struggle.)

Yesterday as I sat at the grocery store waiting an hour for my bus, not being able to drive hit home at a higher level:

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6 Lessons From Change Ready Kids: On Life Outside of “Normal”

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Do you know anyone that is struggling with a change in his or her lives right now?  Do you know any organizations that are in the midst of extreme change and sinking instead of swimming?  Are you aware that 3 of the top 10 Critical Human Capital Issues for 2013 are CHANGE related?

A series of events in our expat journey has convinced me that anyone that has grown up as an expat child has developed wisdom and skills that will help others navigate change.  So I asked a couple of friends to share their experiences.  (Special Thanks To:  Amy Murphy & Lynette Elrod Hudson for sharing their stories!)

After hearing their stories, 6 lessons stand out:

1.  Provide vision and stability in the midst of extreme change.

“When we moved to a new country, my dad would go ahead and scope things out and then come back with great stories of what he had found. Sometimes he would be gone a month or two as he started a new job and found a house and we finished that year in school, so when he got home we were just happy to go wherever it was to be together.”  Lynette

479757_10151689092104766_952536038_n2.  Form relationships with people based on their character, not the color of their skin …Or the shape of their face!

“The first time I realized that people of different races looked different was in 3rd grade.  (I’d been an expat child since I was two.)  I thought my classmate had a flat face and I asked, “Why?”  Amy