Category Archives: Change

If nothing ever changed, there'd beChange.

  • A word that always signifies an ending or a beginning.
  • A word that can cause us to look backward and smile, or toss and turn at night.
  • A word that can fuel visions of hope.
  • A word that can stir fear and doubt.

When we go through seasons that cause intense pain and confusion we struggle to find purpose in the pain.

When something we have dreamed of happens we are thrilled – but often surprised that even in the midst of the most positive transitions we struggle.

Feeling helpless about division and destruction? Here's what you can do.When we are faced with circumstances that are damaging lives and organizations, we are faced with the choice to summon our courage and lead up or to wait for someone else to do it.

The articles below are filled with stories and tools that will help you understand, navigate and lead change with more grit and more grace.

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Thankfulness, Beauty and Struggle ~ In a Foreign Land

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fearIn my first two days in the midst of the foreign land that I struggled to move to, and as I began to wear my “cloak of invisibility” each time I left the compound ~ I met a family that had lived outside of Paris for a few years.  (That is a destination I would have preferred!)  The mother of this family shared how much more thinking and planning she had to do to get her two children around while they were there with no car.  Planning transportation routes, figuring out how much time it would take, preparing snacks before they would get on the trains, having to go to multiple stores to grocery shop.

Countries and flags

Wow, what a perspective change! 

Immediately I felt a wave of thankfulness for all the things that are easy about my new world.

  • I can either ride a bus that is provided by the compound to shop, or hire a driver that will take me wherever I need to go.
  • Most places have signs in the native language of the area AND in English, making it easier to get around and much easier to shop.
  • And in spite of my fear about living in a brown dusty desert – the compound I live in has grass, trees, and flowers.

What a powerful reminder that so many times the change we fear is not as hard or as bad as we imagined and that if we focus on “what is” instead of “what is not” – how much easier it is to find things to be thankful for! 

My treasured moments so far have included:

  • Opportunities to meet the women that I connected to virtually before my move that offered advice and encouragement.
  • Opportunities to attend brunches and exercise classes with women from all over the world – I am enjoying both the beautiful bouquet that we make together and soaking in the conversation that is filled with different accents, and different experiences, and a genuine desire to help each other navigate this place together!

The toughest part of my experience so far:  

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Engaged By A Stranger In The Midst Of Change

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Three months ago my husband boarded a flight that would take him across the world to a place he’d never seen, to start a new position, and to prepare for the rest or our little family to join him.

After that flight took off a little boy toddled down the isle of the plane, stopped at my husband’s seat and lifted both of his arms in a sweet gesture that communicated his desire to be held.  

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What special needs families taught me about comfort zones

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A few years ago my sister adopted a 3-year old little boy that was born addicted to meth.  He had been in and out of foster homes, diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome, had abandonment issues and could not speak.

That sister lives in another state and I don’t get to see her often.  When we spoke about her new son’s challenges,  the challenges the family faced, and the special moments they were beginning to experience… I found myself wanting to I understand more.

Shortly after the adoption, I moved to a new city and met a family with an adult daughter with cognitive challenges.

It was at that time that I realized that although I was always mentally supportive of families and children with special needs and nice to them, I was also uncomfortable simply because I did not know how to fully engage with them.  Was it okay to ask questions?  Or would that be offensive?  What behavior did you need to accept and love and what behavior should you coach and correct?

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Learning’s & Joy: In the Midst of Change

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“Leaving home in a sense involves a kind of second birth in which we give birth to ourselves.“ Robert Neely Bellah

  • 4 months ago my husband accepted a position across the world and we began preparing to be first-time expats
  • 2 months later my husband relocated while our dog and I stayed behind to wait on my visa, the pet relocation details and the movers
  • 1 month later our dog got sick and had tumors removed and we waited for his test results and for him to heal
  • Last week the movers came and packed and loaded all of our things and we said goodbye to Tulsa
  • Today, my dog and I are technically “homeless” but thankful for the opportunity to visit friends and family!
  • Next week, our dog will have his first flight and my husband will be there to welcome him to his new home
  • Within a week of his departure I will sell our car and board a plane too

Soon our little family will together again!!!

In this time of planning and waiting I’ve been reminded of several things:

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Navigating Limbo, In the Midst of Change

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Have you ever played Capture the Flag?  It was one of my favorite summer camp games because it was filled with adventure and intrigue as we plotted how we would get to the other side of a field, to capture the other team’s flag and bring it back to our side of the world!

The downside of the game was that if you were captured in enemy territory, you were frozen in place, unable to move forward to help your team or to retreat back to safety!  Being frozen was really a state of limbo.  It was watching the game unfold, not as a spectator, and not as a full participant.

As we prepare for our expat journey I’ve been reminded that I’m not good at limbo.  I would rather:

  • Be creating the change.
  • Play a supportive role:  If I know why we are doing something, when it’s happening, what I need to do and when I need to do it.  
  • Be a real spectator:  If I’m watching something amazing unfold, getting to share that experience with others and if I have some idea when the event ends!

I prefer to be participating, adding value, moving towards a goal, and quite simply just being in motion!